Merry Christmas!

This is my obligatory happy holidays post.

Merry Christmas!

Happy Hanukkah!

Joyous Kwanzaa!

Bodacious Boxing Day!

Skate Through Zagreb Advent!

Did I miss anyone? Oh well, if I did there's always next year.

Thanks for reading.

Wisconsin School Shooting

I lived in Madison (AKA Mad City), Wisconsin for a couple years, and yesterday I heard there was a school shooting. Keep reading for my own opinion, which at this stage is just conjecture.

Attack of the Giant Drone!

By now everyone who isn't a hermetically sealed recluse has gotten wind of the drones invading New Jersey. The panic and outcry is unbelievable.

Just for openers, no laws have been broken, or even badly bent. I've read some of the commentary by politicians and talking heads - Too close to the airport! - and by our next President, who I'm a bit disappointed in. He overreacted, probably because he was pissed off about something. From what little we the people know, the invading air force consists of drones and ultralight aircraft. The drones vary in size from hobbyist style up to and including military or commercial drones. The ultralights carry one person, the pilot, and given the season and the temperature, they're probably wearing survival suits of some kind.

The only thing I believe that it's safe to say is that the United States Federal Government has stated several times that they, collectively, know nothing about the aircraft in question, and therefore we-the-retards have nothing to worry about.

That means that the government knows all about the drones and that we the people have plenty to worry about.

This morning the New Jersey militia/local police said that they captured a drone, but it turned out to be a lawn ornament for a factory. No, I'm not kidding, and no, I haven't been drinking. Yet.

Just keep looking up, and if you see one flip it off.

I'm sorely tempted to seek council from the Canadian Crapcopter Consultant, Glen Filthie. 

Another Subway Vigilante

Daniel Penny, a man I'd certainly like to have living in my neighborhood, has been labeled as a hero by everyone with an IQ above room temperature and common sense.  By now, everyone has heard of Penny, but I'll offer a summation along with my own vitriolic opinions.

Standard content warning. If you are a liberal, thin skinned, or object to graphic description and plain speech, go someplace else. If you keep reading, you'll get all spun up and have to chase you daily dose of Xanax with a shot of whiskey.

The Great Ohio - Michigan War

Back in the bad old days, we're talking 1835 or so, the political cockroaches in Michigan decided they wanted a small section of Ohio; where the city of Toledo is now. The fine, upstanding confidence men running Ohio objected to that on general principles, and so the Ohio–Michigan War got started. Once troops were positioned, Michigan got a chance to see what they were actually fighting about. They packed up and went home.

In 1937 a basketball team was formed in Fort Wayne, Indiana. The team was called the Fort Wayne Zollner Pistons. In typical Hoosier fashion, they couldn't leave well enough alone, so in 1957 the team moved to greasier fields, dropped their old customs and habits like yesterday's fish-wrap, and called themselves the Detroit Pistons.

Now then. Note that the entire State of Michigan started a war with Ohio over ownership of the town of Toledo, which for those of you blessed not to know, is a dead broke gravel pit. Toledo, Ohio is a place where mediocrity is a goal rather than a disparaging comment, while Michigan is the rotted out bottom of the rust bucket; true unadulterated ignorance backed up by interminable, beer swilling belligerence.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Suppose you have neighbors, which is a big mistake on their part, but they're the ones who bought the shack next door, ignoring the flags and banners out front. White Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, I Support The Second Amendment, Illegal Aliens Will Be Shot - Survivors Will Be Shot Again... that type of signage. That, and your  Trump/Vance/Victory! sign.

You, a red blooded, whiskey swilling, natural born U.S. Citizen, have two little rituals you observe every day. At dawn, you have Trixie (a local exotic dancer) stop by and raise the American Flag while you blow Reveille on your trumpet. Trixie is dressed in a red, white, and blue bikini. At sunset, you have Candy (another exotic dancer) stop by and lower the flag while you play taps. Candy, being very patriotic, is also dressed in a red, white, and blue bikini.

Your neighbor objects. You ignore him. He calls the police, who arrive in time for taps. They stand at attention and salute the flag, admire Candy, and thank you for your service, support and patriotism. Then they advise you about your neighbor's complaints.

The local HOA gets involved, and you tell them (six elderly busybodies) to go fart up a flagpole. The HOA has a lawyer on retainer, so after six months you, the HOA, and the idiots next door wind up in court, Judge Paul Goldner presiding. After hearing more than anyone would care to about the case, the Honorable Judge Goldner commences to lecture. Blah-blah civic minded, blah-ba-blah peaceful neighborhood, blah blah noise ordinance, disturbing the peace, and menacing. Do you have anything you'd like to say?

"Judge, when they circumcised you, they threw away the wrong part."

Okay, then...

Ninety days and five grand later, you erect a new flagpole, celebrate your release, and resume your little 'good morning world!' flag ceremony.

I wrote this is the spirit of entertainment and to smoothly segue into today's malfunction. Keep reading all those of you with rhino hides and a penchant for common sense.

November 5th, 2024 Election Ballot

Here's my proposed ballot for November 5th, 2024, and my intended vote. What keeps me reaching for another drink isn't the election so much as thinking about what might happen after the election.

Violent Crime and Juvenile Perpetrators

Sometimes I think I'm living in a banana republic. Other times I'm sure of it.

Beatus Natalis!

Which, if google translate is performing as advertised, means Happy Bithday! Yessir, today is my birthday. I was arrived in this world on the second day of October, a Thursday, in the year of our Lord one thousand nine hundred fifty and two.  I was born in Toledo Hospital at around 5:30 AM, with Dr. Henry Brown assisting in the birth.  He was our family doctor, and a good one. I'm seventy-two years old today, and thanks to clean living, regular exercise, and a healthy diet I've managed to make it this far in spite of my regular association with women of questionable moral character, supporting myself against the bar with my left elbow while I hold my cocktail in my right hand, and only eating my fair share of the pizza we ordered - we, that is, being myself and a few drinking companions. 

Seventy two.

This post may be somewhat lengthy, so, given the general interest in a single day of the author's life coupled with the somewhat abbreviated assiduity of the readers here, feel free to go elsewhere. Believe me, no one will be offended.

CCW: One up the pipe or not?

 About a week ago I stopped off at the corner gas station to buy a pair of lottery tickets. Hey, you never know, right? This station is in a prime location, and despite heavy traffic (which is desirable if you own the station) people stop in here to buy road food, junk food, oddities of all sorts including common OTC drugs, and lottery tickets. They don't pay the staff a whole lot, and it shows.

Monkey Pox! Monkey Pox!

I was inspired by a post over at Filthie’s Log Of Ease, where our noble host wonders just how Monkey Pox, or Mpox, is spread.  Here's a link to the article: Walking On The Wild Side.

From the article by Glen Filthie:

Near as I can tell Monkey Pox is pretty much Darwin and Murphy hating on queers. If you limit your exposure to them and their lifestyle you have very little to worry about. One is tempted to be complacent and contemptuous of the red alerts coming out of the medicos after the Covid scam… but we can’t afford to do that! [Emphasis mine - MJ]

He's right. Having done a little research on the subject, there are a few key points to consider.