Thursday, March 14, 2013

Another Toledo Landmark Passes Away

Sometime back I wrote about the old Yoko Health Spa out on Airport Highway.  You can read all about it in The Passing of a Toledo Landmark, but the long and short of it is that a little house of pleasure ill repute got bulldozed, and I'm sure the religiously righteous had a field day singing the Hallelujah Chorus while thumping their Bibles and praying for the souls of the well and truly damned who used to frequent that unholy establishment of sacrilegious joy.  The godforsaken truth is that the old Yoko spa had been there since Hector was a pup, and I'm sure that if the place was all that Pastor Pissfire Pallbox inculcated in his last sermon, the local constabulary would have closed it down years ago.  They didn't.
Now I've got some brand new news.  It's happened again, and another Toledo landmark has bit the dust.  Keep reading for the low down.

Sometime in the late 1970s or early 1980s, the forces of capitalism dictated that the Yoko Spa needed a little competition.  If they could do 'em well, we could do 'em better.  And so the Airport Health Spa was built and staffed, giving a brand new meaning to the phrase All New Girls!

The Airport Spa was a mile or so East of the old Yoko spa, so if you were driving from the Toledo Express Airport you'd hit the old Yoko first and the Airport Spa second.  Of course, if you were driving the old ball and chain out to the Toledo Express so she could fly out to Kansas and visit her sister for a week, you'd pass the Airport Spa first which might put you in mind of that nagging shrew backache that's been driving you nuts, and there we have it.  How convenient!

Airport Health Spa
9647 Airport Hwy., Monclova, OH

Open 24 Hrs./7 Days
These days the place looks a little deserted.  No surprise, since it is deserted.  Note that the neon sign is turned off for the first time since 1980 - that would be 33 years.  Whatever they paid for that sign, they sure got their money's worth.

Dark Sign
The other signs are a little more obvious.  Sorry we're Closed signs are all over the place, and there's a sign on the back gate warning trespassers away with the threat of security cameras.  I kind of think the security camera sign may be a hoax, but I suppose you never know.

Sorry we're Closed

Not even a note to 'please call again'.  Note the police supporter stickers on the door.  Of course, if you care to look at the next intersection just West of the old Airport Health Spa, that would be at the corner of Mescher Drive and Airport Highway, specifically on the Northwest corner, you'll find a house that may be more than a home.

New Airport Health Spa
My first clue was the parking lot instead of a front yard.  My second clue was the neon sign in the window - Open.  Open for what?  Trick or treating?

Open Once - Now Closed!

Say whatever you like, but I know what this place is.  Virtually all men know what this place is, whether they've ever patronized such an establishment or not.  I also know what the place is not.  It isn't a bar where half the clients drive their car or truck home when they're so drunk they're practically cross-eyed.  There's no loud music here, and there are no thefts.  No one gets shot here, and you don't see the health department making a huge effort to close the place down because of a recent outbreak of some weird new STD.

And, should a man go in here for a massage and leave a little happier than the law allows, who am I to judge?  I don't judge, and that's the truth, and if the place really was dangerous or harmful to the community, the Ohio State Highway Patrol is just down the road.  Notice that the old Airport Health Spa stayed in business for over 30 years - you don't do that by being a problem to the community.

Sadly, not everyone is as non-judgmental as yours truly.  The new Airport Health Spa closed as soon as it opened, and it looks as though it's going to stay that way.  Oh well.  Not many people go out to the Toledo Express Airport these days.  Mainly they fly out of Detroit.

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