Monday, June 25, 2012

A Day at the Range

I haven't been to the range since I qualified for my Ohio CCW permit, which I'll write about later on.  So when Big Mike told me he'd be in town over the weekend and asked me if I'd like to go shooting, I naturally answered in the affirmative.

One way or another we got into a game of 9mm eight ball.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The World We Live In

I found this one courtesy of The Smallest Minority: Every word out of their mouth was, 'We don't care.'  In short, an elderly unemployed lady without health insurance decided to grow her own food in her own yard.  When some silly son-of-a-bitch complained to the city government, the city sent out a work team and cut it all down.  Now Denise Morrison is suing the city.

The Beginning Revisited

During the month of February of 2010 I started up Mad Jack's Shack with an essay about Main Lady's neighbor, noted horticulturist and seasonal entrepreneur, Clay Hausenfleck.  You can read about Clay and his exploits here - Who Knew That This Would Be The Start Of Something.  The short of it is that Clay and his family moved into their new house on November 30, 2005, but times were tough and they were about to get a whole lot tougher.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Congratulations Lucas County Sheriff

I went to a funeral today (next post) and the procession from the church to the cemetery was somewhat lengthy.  Thirty-six (36) cars started off from the Bethany Community Fellowship parking lot and drove three and a half miles to Ottawa Hills Memorial Park - right through one of the busiest parts of town.  Putting this in perspective, if the average length of an automobile is 16 feet, that's 576 feet of Tokyo Beer Cans if the cars are hooked up nose to tail, like a freight train.  Which they aren't.

If the drivers of this procession allow one car length between vehicles, the entire parade stretches 1,152 feet.  That's one thousand, one hundred and fifty two feet of rolling Christian mourners who are all on their best behavior.  Now since the average man is doing good to find his way home every night, and since no one has ever been taught how to drive in a funeral procession... am I the only one to see a disaster in the making here?

Everyone managed to get out of the Bethany parking lot without bending any fenders and without allowing any gaps in the procession wider than, oh I don't know... call it three car lengths.  Wide enough so that some moke waiting at a green light will not bother waiting around to see if there's more procession before hammering the throttle and getting on about his oh-so-important big hurry.

We head West on Alexis from Flanders, and that first turn is where the fun starts.  You see, in the bad old days (1965, for instance) there wasn't any traffic light at Flanders and Alexis.  In fact, back in the old days anyone heading West on Alexis Road had a solid two mile stretch of highway with no traffic lights, starting at Secor and maybe ending at Whiteford, unless you timed it right and made the light at Whiteford and Alexis.  Flanders was just an insignificant cross street.

Which averaged one accident per week during the summer, and these were all injury accidents.

Old habits die hard, and when a traffic light was finally installed at Flanders and Alexis the accidents began to decrease and the panic stops and moving violations increased until things sort of stabilized.  So today, when the irate drivers on Alexis are having their circuit boards shorted out by staring at a green light and a funeral procession, the right foot wants to win the argument and cut through the line.  Because I'm in a hurry.  I need to go!  See?

About three blocks Southbound on Talmadge I see a Lucas County Deputy Sheriff finishing up a call at an abandoned home.  She's standing next to her patrol car watching the parade with a Holy Moley look.  Fortunately for all of us, the deputy took some initiative and ran interference for our wagon train all the way to the cemetery, keeping cretins, horn testers and other mental midgets in check.  It's just so amazing to me how quiet and polite people are when the police are present.

I didn't get the lady deputy's license number or photo, which is kind of a shame.  She is a handsome woman with long blond hair in her middle twenties, about five foot six, medium build.  I'll send some email to the Lucas County Sheriff and see if it finds the right officer.  In the meantime, here is my official thanks to the blond deputy, along with a tip of the old fedora and a hoist of my afternoon bourbon glass.

Thank you, Officer.  You made our lives a lot easier and safer.

R.I.P. Hall Derkin

A friend of mine passed away last Monday (June 11, 2012).  Hall Stewart Derkin was born in the city of brotherly love on April 27, 1918.  He served in the US Army during World War II, attaining the rank of Captain.  He was married for 65 years, raised three sons and helped to raise an unknown number of grandchildren.  He owned his own business and was one of the three founders of a church; Bethany Community Fellowship in Sylvania, Ohio.

That's the facts.  Here are a few things I admired about Hall, along with a few links.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Hit and Run, The Conclusion

A long time ago, a little while back, a South side genius got screwed up on everything he could lay his happy hands on and manged to wander into Sylvania, Ohio, where he drove through Main Lady's front yard with reckless abandon, smacked into her happy home and promptly took to his heels.  You can read all about it if you've a mind to in this entry: Hit and Run, which comes complete with photos.

The other day Main Lady got a call from the Sylvania Court.  It seems that the wheels of justice have finally completed one revolution, the guilty party is going to be sentenced and has she ever been reimbursed for the damage this pinhead caused?  No, she hasn't.  Curiosity prompted me to see what was up, and after a complex search here's what I was able to find out.