Friday, May 25, 2018

The Death of Officer Amy Caprio and What Scares Me

On Tuesday, May 22, 2018, four young, violent criminals went to work very early in the morning - or late at night, depending on your perspective.  In an upper middle class neighborhood, three of these criminals started their search for a house to burglarize, while the fourth waited and patrolled the immediate area in a stolen car - a black jeep.

Quora Question: Do you have a younger sibling...

Some nameless fathead on Quora posted this philosophical interrogatory.  I hope my answer doesn't disappoint him.

Do you have a younger sibling who would pick on you when you both were children?

My younger brother. He’d do all kinds of stuff to get under my skin, and when I’d react my parents would yell at me, saying he’s just little, so if he breaks your (whatever) it’s just one of those things you have to live with.

We lived very close to a junk yard, so one day when no one was watching I put the snatch on him, duct taped his hands, feet, and mouth, and stuffed him in an empty dog food bag. I tossed the bag into the trunk of a stripped down car headed for the crusher, figuring that would be the last I ever saw of him. I don’t know how, but somehow the little plague got loose and escaped. He stopped giving me grief, though, and about all I can say is that as we got older family holidays and reunions got real interesting.

Nobody believed his wild story, even with the duct tape evidence.

I posted this little gem this morning around 9:30 or so.  Now we'll see what happens, although I expect the censors at Quora will simply delete it out of hand.  With the answers I give I'm probably on their watch list by now.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Quora Question: If I leave work early...

It gets better. Trust me.

Some nameless pinhead on Quora asked: If I leave work early, come home, find an intruder in my house, kill him, and he turns out to be my wife’s lover, who she let in the house, would I go to prison?

My answer:

Thursday, May 17, 2018

A Trip to the Zoo

My thanks to CW Martin over at Tilting at Windmills - Thoughts on every subject, pc be hanged and his inspiration post Zoo 2018, as well as the photo I brazenly stole from him and am now using without permission.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Origins 2018 and the SJWs

It's official.  Origins Game Fair 2018 advertised Larry Correia as an official guest of honor, then rescinded their offer.  So far as I can tell, this troubles Larry about as much as a sky rat nailing John Ward during his lunch at the Club Columbus outdoor Jacuzzi.

Keep reading for a politically insensitive diatribe about the latest SJW attack and why it shouldn't go unchallenged.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Mother's Day Story

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there reading this. I know that some of you had your hands full getting your sons raised without giving in to filicide (I had to look this one up).  Not my own dear mother, of course.  I was a very low maintenance child, never any trouble to anyone, always acting with decorum, obedience, and deportment.

Stop laughing, you bums.

As I reminisce about my childhood, misspent and otherwise, I'm reminded of an event in kindergarten which I was a witness to.

Friday, May 11, 2018

Software Design, 101

The troubles with software design are legion, and are most often perpetuated by borderline idiots from the butterfly department who couldn't find their - well, click for more.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Boredom, Ennui, and a Plan for the Future

I'm really bored.  Inspiration just hasn't hit me this evening.

I was reading on the Internet in some Fuckbook writer's group that the preferred formatting for a sentence structure consists of a period and two spaces, not just one.  This is true for all sentences and punctuation marks, including the oft needed but never used interrobang.  This should be often seen as the terminus of the ubiquitous WTF abbreviation.  Like I just did - see?

Meanwhile, I suffer.

Warning - the rest of this rant spares no ones feelings, political views, or anything else.  We use cookies to track readers.  Your mileage may vary, in fact it's almost a sure thing if you're driving like you usually do.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018


First floor telephones, gents ready made suits, shirts, suits, ties, hats, underwear, and shoes. Going up...

In a crowded elevator, resident DFC Simona Sharoni took command of the elevator buttons and asked SJW victim Richard Ned Lebow which floor he needed. "Ladies lingerie" he said, getting a laugh from everyone except (we are told) Simona Sharoni, who was immediately offended and filed a complaint against Richard.  But of course she waited a few hours to compose herself and withdraw to a safe location.

Standard Warning Officially Issued.  The following is politically incorrect, socially insensitive, and directly attacks SJWs somewhere.  Any micro-aggressions are accidental; all aggressions are meant to be of the macro category.  Your mileage may vary, void where prohibited, the sleeves will ride up with wear.

Saturday, May 5, 2018

My Old Kentucky Home, Bourbon, and Derby

The Kentucky Derby for 2018 is officially history.  Justify (5-2) won it on the sloppiest track since Hector was a pup.  Race day had a record rainfall, dampening the crowd and making things a lot more interesting for the jockeys.

I like Derby Day.  I made myself a nice mint julep and a little snack, and enjoyed watching.  The only thing I don't like about the Kentucky Derby is the way the powers-that-be massacred the song, My Old Kentucky Home.

Spring Holidaze

Today we have two holidays.  It's  Derby Day and Cinco de Mayo (Fifth of May).  Derby Day is the Kentucky Derby, the first leg of the Triple Crown.  Ladies get dressed to the nines, gents wear a suit and tie.  The hats on the ladies are really something to see.

Cinco de Mayo celebrates the victory of Mexico over the French at the Battle of Puebla on May 5th, 1868.  It was an all day fight, but the Mexicans kicked some serious froggy ass that day and sent the cheese eaters back to gay Pairee.  These days you'll see parades and a whole lot of drinking and dancing, with Mexican food to keep your energy level up.

Friday, May 4, 2018

Painting the Town

When Big Mike called an hour or so after civilized people's customary dinner hour, I wasn't surprised.  When he asked me if I'd tied on the feed bag yet (I hadn't), I started hoping for a night out.  Mike suggested the Grass Skirt Tiki Room, Columbus, which is a tried and true restaurant in Columbus.  His argument was that since California Dave was coming into town next month, we had to make sure the Tiki room was still good.

It was.

Thursday, May 3, 2018

The Next Crises: Identity Theft

As usual, I was minding my own business, shopping at the local Kroger store for a basket of victuals and a bottle of attitude adjustment and thought provoker, when unbeknownst to my mother's favorite son, some no good son-of-a-door-knob-sucking-lesbian-two-dollar-whore ripped me off electronically for $69.58 (sixty nine dollars and fifty eight cents).  Then, before I even knew this happened, I found myself out in Golden, Colorado at an Amoco where I spent $12 and change on petrol.

Keep reading, but be aware that there is non-pc speak ahead.  Your mileage is not likely to vary, exists where prohibited, no moonbats allowed, this is not a safe space.  Therapy is likely to consist of guns, dogs, whiskey, erudite conversation, and women of questionable moral character.