Cancer Update 2026-16-09

In a meeting with my head sawbones, Department of Otolaryngology, the deal is that they meet, share data, and depending on the data, projected outcome, and other things the group recommends a treatment plan. The plan they recommend includes:

Many meetings. The Left Hand must not only be sure of what the Right Hand is doing,
it must be in complete, enthusiastic agreement with it. Since the hands don't like each other and will only cooperate on certain activities - loading a gun, paying for stuff... whatever. Look, just don't argue with the doctor. The doctor has been to school when school meant something.

Then we got the steps. What's a plan without steps?

Step 1: Prepare the patient. Deuce him up with happy juice.
 

Step 2: Treat the tumor with radiation. This will cause it to shrink. The tumor hates radiation with the same passion that Democrats hate the Republicans.
 

Step 3: Let the area settle. Given that a major police action just took place in the area, give the locals a chance to rebuild.
 

Step 4: Cut my tongue off.  This is called a glossectomy (glah-SEK-toh-mee); about 2/3's (two thirds) of my tongue is removed and I officially begin recovery. Now then, remember the radiation? Any tongue left healthy from Step 2 gets nurtured.
 

Step 5: The doctor builds an artificial tongue out of my personal spare parts and installs it.
 

Step 6: Therapy, conducted by PT experts.

Now me? I'm not doing well with any of this. I'm headed out to a concert today, and maybe that will help. As I write this, I'm so tired and strung out that I actually fell asleep at the keyboard.

later!

Mad Jack

Announcement

Awright, alla you preverts, whiskey drinking gun owners, and woman chasing, freedom loving, natural born hell raisers find yourselves a cheap seat in the peanut gallery, get your beverages and snacks situated, then sit down and shut up. Don't feed the other man's dog, and don't bother the people in the VIP seats; they know who they are.

Pick one letter out of the International Organization for Standardization (ISO) basic Latin alphabet. That's the A-B-Cs you learned back in school, with the little song that went along with it so you would be able to remember... nevermind. Just pick a letter.

Moving with a self-assured aplomb, I shall select the letter 'C' prior to disclosing the reason for my selection. C, as in the big Casino, as in cancer.

I've got it.

This is my second time at bat. I went three rounds with the Big C in July, 2014. It was several weeks of different and distinct varieties of hard life, but I was the last man standing. That was then, this is now.

The good new is that this, so they tell me, is a different kind of cancer. It's not caused by the same virus that caused the old cancer, which for unknown reasons is beneficial to me. This is nice, new cancer! Isn't that special? The other little ray of sunshine is that the new cancer hasn't spread to the rest of me. What it's done is taken over a portion of my tongue.

Six general types of treatment are possible.

1. Surgery. The sawbones would remove about two-thirds of my tongue, which is called a glossectomy (removing part or all of the tongue) and probably a neck dissection to remove nearby lymph nodes. Reconstructive surgery can, in theory, help restore talking and swallowing. In this case the sawbones will fashion me an artificial tongue using tissue from my thigh. My left thigh, I'd suppose, since that's the side that the cancer is on.

2. Radiation and Chemotherapy. Again, part of my tongue comes up missing, and the treatment makes the patient so miserable he wants to die, but can't because the effort of loading his revolver is too much for him to accomplish. In truth, just the thought of the racket that hand canon makes indoors is enough to make anyone reject this treatment.

3. Newer drugs target specific chemicals in cancer cells and/or help the body's immune system fight the disease. When this works, it really works well.

4. Not recommended by the doctor. Cash in all your chips, buy a .44 Magnum revolver, then head for Las Vegas. Spend your money on hookers and blow. When you're dead broke and in hock up to your ass, use the .44.

5. Decline treatment and check in to hospice. Reassure everyone who comes to visit that you're okay, and you're fine with life after death, and put up with their howling and whingeing.

I'm in pain most of the time. I take Oxycodone 10 MG TABS, Ibuprofen, and pot. The pot gummies actually work well so long as you don't take too much (Wheeee!!!).

I can't eat any form of solid food. Nope, not happening today, and tomorrow isn't looking good either. I drink... Boost, along with similar beverages.

I'm inclined to select treatment option three. In case of failure, it's option five.

Yours,

Mad Jack

Movie Review: Primate

Primate

IMDB - Primate

I watched Primate last night on Amazon prime, mainly because I was bored out of my mind and half in the bag from drinking a banana daiquiri on an empty stomach. So... Primate. Without checking why it's rated R, I started it up. 

Keep reading for an honest, unbiased review.

I Know Why People Shoplift

 I discovered why otherwise normal and law abiding people shoplift, much to my sorrow. Keep reading as it amuses you to do so.

It's My Annual Anniversary!

Time flies when you're having fun. Where do the years go, anyway?

On Wednesday, February 24^th, 2010, I wrote my very first post and did so at the urging of people (I assume they're people) I met online. I wrote about Clay Hausenfleck, a part time truck driver and full time pot farmer who suffered a home invasion and got caught by the Sylvania, Ohio police. Clay went to the big house for a short time, and eventually he and his moved out. As for me, I got some hate mail in the comments section.

And that was that. Since then marijuana has been legalized, I survived cancer, and a whole bunch of other stuff happened. So - my thanks to all of you for reading and commenting.

Thanks!

Trailer Trash Take Out

 I was pursing various social media sites when I stumbled across this little gem and came to an odd conclusion.

From NextDoor:

Obviously Gilda H. is demented and illiterate, but because I'm a bit bored I checked a few scandal sites. Here we go:

Woman Dead, Man Critically Injured in Southwest Columbus

From the article:

A Columbus police spokesperson said the scene is gruesome and it’s hard to tell exactly what the wounds were. The man was taken to a hospital. 

 
Police Find Woman Dead, Man Injured Inside Southwest Columbus Mobile Home

From the article:

COLUMBUS, Ohio — A woman was found dead and a man seriously injured inside a mobile home in southwest Columbus on Monday morning.

According to Columbus Police Sgt. James Fuqua, officers were called to the 1600 block of Dyer Road around 9 a.m. for an unknown complaint.

Fuqua said officers found an unresponsive woman and an injured man. The woman was pronounced dead and the man was taken to a hospital in critical condition.

Fuqua said it’s too early to say what happened, but that it was a “very gruesome scene.”

The identities of the man and woman were not released. Fuqua did not say what their relationship was.

And so it goes. One resident genius said it might be a bear attack.

Book Review: Go Ask Alice by Anonymous

 The previous post dealt with a banned books list I found somewhere. Such lists intrigue me, and I started looking for banned books that I hadn't read - and found one. Well, more than one, but here's a starting point.

Click to keep reading.

Read Any Good Books Lately?

Well, I'm back. Those of you optimistically hoping for an announcement of my untimely demise or incarceration can pour two fingers and celebrate, one way or another. Actually, I've been in a bit of a writing slump and just didn't care to get off my lazy ass and write something.

Abigail Zwerner Shot by a Six Year Old Student

I wanted to wait for things to cool off before I posted this one, mainly because I'm looking for real answers instead of the emotional responses that were provoked after it happened.

From Wikipedia, because this is old news and by now Wikipedia is as good as anything else. The quotes have been edited by yours truly for clarity, accuracy, and brevity.

On January 6, 2023, the American school teacher Abby Zwerner was shot by a six-year-old male student at Richneck Elementary School in Newport News, Virginia.

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is the obligatory Happy Thanksgiving post for 2025.

Happy Thanksgiving!

See?

I'm having Thanksgiving dinner with Big Mike, and will be bringing two dishes; Ginger Glazed Carrots and Scalloped Oysters. My dear old mother used to make the glazed carrots every once in a while, and they are quite nice. As for the oysters, my paternal grandmother loved them and provided a large dish twice a year - Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Years later, as we had Thanksgiving at our house, my mother refused to make the oysters due to the cost. Shucked oysters aren't exactly free. People complained, so mom compromised and made a tiny amount - not nearly enough.

Eventually things returned to normal, but only after a lot of argument. So, have a great thanksgiving holiday, eat too much, drink just enough so that you don't have to drive anywhere (they're getting serious about that drunk driving business these days), and don't forget to argue over politics.