Friday, December 21, 2018

Published! Rimworld - Militia Up by JL Curtis

Here's a shameless commercial plug for the latest work by JL Curtis.

JL Curtis Rimworld Series

It was supposed to be a simple contract for a couple of months of security services off world, but the devil’s in the details.

Tight Bridge Technologies hired Ethan Fargo and his militia to guard their power stations on the planet Endine against mob unrest and sabotage. When they arrive, they find the planetary authorities don’t want outsiders around to uncover their dirty secrets, and the Galactic Patrol’s not interested in providing backup. They all but order him to stop making waves, kicking asses, and taking names. The harder Fargo works to keep his people safe, the more troubles he finds. Dragoons and pirates are stalking the outer system, while the planet itself is a snakepit of treachery, tyranny, rebellion, and corruption. Everyone wants him to fail, while taking the blame.

They made one mistake: they underestimated Ethan Fargo. After the mob kills two of his Ghorkas, and kidnap his lady, he’s out for blood, and to hell with anything in his way…

Check out the original post at Rimworld - Militia Up is Done (at last!).  JL is an excellent storyteller and writer. His characterization is strong and consistent, and his plot is reminiscent of the good old stuff. I enjoy his writing, and I'd recommend it to anyone who likes science fiction.

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Congratulations to Momma Fargo!

Here's a hoist of the afternoon bourbon glass and a tip of the old fedora to Momma Fargo, who can now be properly referred to as Magister Fargo.  Read the entire story at Ma-story (pronounced mastery only spelled different) Accomplished.

Mental Health Warning

Do-gooders abound everywhere.  My father ran afoul of the do-gooder staff and got locked up for being somewhat naive.  Now it's my next-door neighbor, whom we'll call Lois, who has been entrapped.

Quora Question: Have you ever seen someone showing more than expected while wearing a skirt?

Have you ever seen someone showing more than expected while wearing a skirt?

Sure have.

Disclaimer: Not safe for anything.  Names changed to protect the guilty; there are no innocents.  Your mileage may vary.  The sleeves will ride up with wear.

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Ha! Here Comes the Welcome Wagon!

A while ago I made an off-color adult oriented suggestion involving late night driving on the expressway and - never mind.  I opined that since we didn't have any female readers here, I should just drop the whole business.

I was wrong.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Thanksgiving 2018: Day 4 - Shootout in the Back Forty

It was just at dusk, and I was sitting downstairs at the bar considering which cocktail to start my evening with, when Albert strolled in.

"Dad's gonna shoot some guy!"

Thursday, November 29, 2018

Hate Speech From the Feminazi Left

I have a first cousin once removed who we'll call TroubledClef.  He's a music major somewhere in the loony Left and will make his living by teaching music to the underprivileged but oh so talented public school children.  He's a senior and is just now realizing that starting a brand new career at twenty-something, with no experience, and $150,000 in school loan debt might be a bit of a bitch.

Thanksgiving 2018: Day 2

I spent the night at a Motel 6 in Mad City.  In the morning I got breakfast at Perkins Pancake House; waffle, scrambled eggs, sausage.  Absolutely delicious!  The people in Mad City are very nice, which is how I remember it.  Out of all the people I ever met in Mad City, I only found two, maybe three, whose absence would make the world a better place.  I'm very tempted to name them, but decorum and temporary sobriety cause me to decline.  One example of humanitarianism in Mad City I observed on my way out was the manager of Perkins Pancake House calling the police about a blonde woman who has been sleeping in her car in the parking lot.  The objection?  The blonde keeps
throwing her trash into the parking lot rather than the waste can.  The manager didn't care about her sleeping out there, just don't strew your garbage all over.  The blonde had been told, but never listens.

I hit the road and drive through Wisconsin.  What I'd really like to know is how the place ever got settled in the bad old days.  The terrain is beautiful, but the winters are harsh and the settlers had to clear land, build a cabin and a barn, plant stuff, get enough food to eat in the meantime, and chop enough firewood to survive the winter.  I wonder how many froze to death, or broke a leg or an arm and died, or died in childbirth, or whatever.  Clearly, a few survived.

I arrived at Shotgun Bob's around 1:30 PM, local time.  There are five dogs and two cats.  I plan to compile an inventory and post it.

Inspired by Glen Filthie - Shooting the .45-70

Inspired by Glen Filthie over at Filthie's Thunderbox - Ow!.

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Thaksgiving 2018: Day 1

November 20th

I decided to go visit my brother, Shotgun Bob, this Thanksgiving.  I spent the previous two days cleaning the house and packing, and arranged for my Christian neighbor, Next-door Sandy, to feed and water Danté.  Big Mike was kind enough to stop in every few days and make sure the place hadn't burnt down, flooded out, or been burglarized in my absence.

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Quora Question: Lying, Cheating, and An End to It All

Today is your lucky day!  Here are three incredibly dumb Quora questions that I took the time to answer.  Maybe I should contact the local bird cage liner and offer a sane alternative to Damn Landers...

Friday, November 9, 2018

World War 2 War Heros: Joachim Rønneberg

Ex-Main Lady sent me a copy of her svensk nyhetsbrev (Swedish newsletter), which had an article about WWII Norwegian hero Joachim Holmboe Rønneberg who passed away October 21st, 2018.

Quora Question: What programs are being done to keep the children in rural and urban areas fit?

Another answer that's likely to be deleted. Well, here we go...

Monday, October 15, 2018

Widener's Revisited

About ten or more days ago (time flies when you're old and half in the bag most of the day), some enterprising ne'er-do-well offered me some cheese if I'd give them a free plug.  I really didn't think there was anything in it, but what the hell, right?  They offered a $25 gift certificate for a shameless commercial plug, and I snapped it up.  Well, I was a bit bored and it was after five o'clock eastern standard time.  What I expected was a gift certificate good for $25 off your order when you spend $250 or more, because why not?

But that's not what happened.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Quora Question: What does it feel like to be shot with a .22 caliber firearm?

Much as I'd like to oblige this genius with a first hand experience, this could be a legitimate question from a somewhat morbidly curious 8 year old.  So on June 28, 2017, I posted an answer.

Commercial Message from Widener's

I got this in my email today.  I haven't read my email in a few days, so it's a bit out of date.  Still and all, the advertisement is supposed to earn me a $25 gift certificate - hey, who can't use $25 worth of ammo, right? - and a chance to win free ammunition for one year.  Whatever that may mean.

Here's a copy of the email Jacob sent me.

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Quora Question: Will it be ok to become a dancer if I am a transgender man?

I would say no.  No, it isn’t acceptable to become a dancer if you are a transgender man.  I say this for two reasons:

1. Dancing is an art form that requires a lot of passion and self-expression. People who succeed at dance are invariably sensitive and emotionally brittle. They don’t bend, but they do tend to break easily.

2. The world in general isn’t ready for an artist like you. You’ll draw unreasonable criticism from critics who know little to nothing about dance, but who know a vulnerable target when they see one. Even with a solid emotional support network, you’ll be under severe emotional strain and it will affect your dancing.

Best of luck to you.

Monday, September 10, 2018

Fan Email

To: Old Acquaintance
From: Mad Jack

My dear Old,

I'm sorry, but I really can't remember you.  You say we first met at a dance competition in Columbus, or we danced together and got a first (place award) in Columbus?  Or are you trying to say that I was your first, and we were at a dance competition in Columbus?

My memory isn't what it should be.


Mad Jack

Saturday, September 8, 2018

Old TV: Leave It to Beaver

Leave It To Beaver was a situation comedy that ran for 235 episodes from 1957 - 1963.  The preteen hero (Beaver) was always getting into a trivial crises by doing something so completely stupid that even a retarded ten year old wouldn't try it if you bribed him with a banana split.  Twenty minutes of canned laughter later the crises would get straightened out, and Beaver's father Ward would deliver a homiletic reprimand while the rest of the family suffered his didactic pontification in silence.  Occasionally Wally would beg for surcease, which served to drag the episode out.

Well, time passes as time is wont to do, and a while back someone asked me -

Monday, September 3, 2018

Sexual Harassment

Photo courtesy of AP Press via Page Six

Aretha Franklin (March 25, 1942 – August 16, 2018) died recently, and Motown gave her a real sendoff.  The funeral service lasted eight hours and change, and if you were deep in Left field and were anybody, you were invited to attend.  Somebodies sat up front, friends of somebodies got the second row, and so on - all the way back to the nosebleed seats on the sidewalk outside.  Well, that's Detroit for you.  They really know how to do a send off in Detroit.

A few hours into the service noted vocalist and nuevo moonbat personality Ariana Grande got up and performed (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman.   After she took a bow and dropped the mic, she went over to join the emcee, Bishop Charles H. Ellis III, who put his arm around her and copped a feel.  An extended feel.

I saw a photo of it, and I truly believed that the photo had to be photoshopped.

I was wrong.

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Midnight Shooter

Well, he's back.  I wrote about him here , posted about him on Craig's List (the post got flagged by some pencil neck geek and removed).  So now he's back.

On Monday, August 27th, 2018 at or around 11:55 PM, some deranged pinhead torched off three shots about 25 yards or so from my house.  I called the Columbus PD and reported it as shots fired, and the dispatcher assured me that a unit would be sent to the area to investigate.  Then she wanted to know if I'd like to speak with the police in person.


I was just falling off to sleep when (I suspect) Tyrone torched off a single, followed by a double tap.  This isn't the first time, and it won't be the last.

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

These Roads Are Not Safe!

My nephew Albert turned 16 last week.  His father, Shotgun Bob, brought him down South for a little visit.  I collected Big Mike and 88, and we all went out to dinner.  During this momentous occasion I debated about just what sort of wisdom I should impart to the little fellow as he achieved a state of mobility, approached high school graduation at a snail's pace, and now (thanks to Shotgun Bob) has a rolling bedroom.

So... somewhere between the second and fifth martini, I said, 'Albert?' I said.  'Albert, stop drooling over the tits at the next table and pay attention.  I've got something to tell you, and it's important.'

'Just when do you not have something important to say when you're half in the bag, Uncle Jack?'

'When I'm asleep or lost deep in thought.  Roughly the same thing.  So... where was I?  Ah.  Here we go...'

Saturday, August 18, 2018

Three Wheel Death Trap

I've always liked cars.  Actually, I like anything with a motor - even riding lawnmowers.  The push mower you can keep and give to your teenage son or daughter, who clearly needs more exercise to remain a healthy and productive member of your family.

I saw this article on Rueters: Swiss Brothers Get Ready to Refloat the Bubble Car (August 16, 2018).  This might be a good idea in Switzerland, but not in the U.S.

Friday, August 17, 2018

Jay Austin and Lauren Geoghegan Dead Right There (DRT)

The dust cloud (well, one of them anyway) you're watching is the fuss over Jay Austin and Lauren Geoghegan, two citizens of the United States who took off on a shoestring bicycle journey around the world and ended up dead in a You-Name-It-Stan ditch.

Keep reading for a hardhearted look at them and the news media.  Warning: This missive is politically insensitive, personally insensitive, and hasn't been screened for trigger warnings, politically incorrect speech, and other bad things.  Read at your own risk.  Your mileage may vary.

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Religion, Satanism, and Pedophilia

I never did trust the Catholic church, not even when I was a child. The nuns looked mean to me, and many of them were.  The Priests weren't allowed to get married, and even though I had no interest in marriage or girls or (heaven help us all) kissing a girl - yuck! - that didn't seem quite right to me either.

If you live in Pennsylvania (home state of serial killer Kermit Gosnell), and you read the local scandal sheet, you'd know that six tons of top quality fertilizer have just hit the turbine blades, and it's no small deal.

Keep reading for a somewhat atypical diatribe on the Catholic Church.  Politically incorrect comments are kept to a bare minimum, but your mileage may vary.

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Take the Gloves Off and Speak Up!

Sarah Hoyt posted a missive about Hate Speech which is worth reading.  My summary of Sarah's missive is that the Moonbats, SJWs, and similar subcultures spew it, the rest of the world more or less tolerates it, and we shouldn't.

Several social media platforms have come under fire (ha ha) for censoring hate speech, but especially hate speech directed at white males. Because, well... I can't think of just why, or even if they are.  Censoring, that is.

Keep reading for a politically incorrect, socially insensitive yet well reasoned communiqué about free speech, social media, and the Internet.  I recommend that anyone with a thin skin dose themselves with 1 milligram of Xanax before reading.

Friday, August 3, 2018

Book Review: Instinct by James Patterson and Howard Roughan

Instinct (previously published as Murder Games) by James Patterson (Author) and Howard Roughan (Author)

My Rating: * out of *****

File Size: 1922 KB
Print Length: 369 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0316273961
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company (June 26, 2017)
Publication Date: June 26, 2017
Sold by: Hachette Book Group
Language: English

insert your own standard disclaimer along with the caveat that your mileage may vary

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

PET Scan Results

In short, I'm cancer free.  I have no cancer.

Monday, July 30, 2018

A Truly Meaningless Post

I'm due for a PET scan tomorrow, which costs more than I could easily afford during the best of times.  Either stress, drugs, or the local environment has put me into a foul humor.  I don't want to talk to anyone.

Load Up and Get Ready

It's been over five years since the Zimmerman - Martin shooting.  Left alone, this event would eventually be remembered by those select few who study history these days.  And yes, that was a shot.  Sadly, there are a few people who don't want to let a sleeping dog lie.

So tonight we're off to the races.  Load up and keep reading for an opinionated piece grounded in cold facts.

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Well, here we go.

In other news, 'they' canceled my CT scan.  'They' weren't 'comfortable' with giving 'me' a CT scan, given my allergy to CT Scan dye - even though I was premeditated (I'm using the past tense) with Prednisone and Benadryl.  'They' want to perform a magenta renaissance imaging (MRI) instead.

The pain in my throat, head, and neck is old news, and the side of my neck is no longer tender.  I'm reluctant to schedule this because of the cost.  No such thing as a free lunch, right?

A lot of this is in quote, deliberately.  They are the medical powers that be and remained nameless through the entire business.  The fact that they aren't comfortable (a truly annoying use of the word, as their comfort or lack thereof has never appeared on my list of priorities and likely never will) has a lot more to do with me, the consumer, cashing in my chips while lying on their table and undergoing a life saving test that they recommended.  I'm thinking that if they only knew that my own personal attorney is Johnny the Hammer, then they would fire me and take out a restraining order against me.

Disclaimer: In real life my attorney really is the notable Hammer, who really does specialize in medical malpractice.  He tends to win.  He also is dead set against the Second Amendment but will defend gun owners with the ferocity of a mama honey badger defending her kittens, and the tenacity of a Rottweiler with a band new rawhide chew toy.

As I write this, I'm so screwed up on Prednisone that I'm over-typing my own eyesight.  Or something.  I ingested two of the three Prednisone tablets before some nice lady called me early this morning to tell me my test was cancelled.  I'm glad she called before I took the third tablet and the Benadryl, which would have made me too tired to function and too nervous to rest.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Monday, July 23, 2018


Tomorrow is the big day.  Tuesday morning at 9:00 AM EST I get my CT scan, then I have an appointment with the ENT doc to check the results and plan for treatment, depending on the phases of the moon and the lumps on Fathead's noggin.

I'm not all that worried.  The pain is mostly gone, and only annoys me at night.  I haven't taken more than one pain pill a day lately, and I could probably get along without that if I felt like it.

So we'll see what's up.  I'll post the results tomorrow.

Thanks for all your prayers and well-wishes, and I mean that.  It really helps.

Movie Theater Shooting

I wrote about the Curtis Reeves and Chad Oulson Shooting shortly after it happened, and have been waiting for something significant to happen ever since. Now it looks like we finally have a trial date. According to the Tampa Bay Times a February Trial Date Set in Curtis Reeves Theater-Shooting Case

From the article:

...the state passed a revised version of the law, which shifted the burden of proof in such cases to prosecutors. Previously, the defendant had to prove he or she was in fear when using deadly force.

DADE CITY — A judge has set a trial date of Feb. 25, 2019, in the case of Curtis Reeves, the retired Tampa police captain who claims he was acting in self-defense when he shot another man in a Wesley Chapel movie theater.

Pinellas-Pasco Circuit Judge Susan Barthle scheduled the trial at a hearing Tuesday, declining a defense attorney’s request to hold off.
I want to see how this one shakes out, as I cannot for the life of me imagine how this case relates to a stand your ground law for more than five seconds.

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Pick Another Letter...

This is the official follow up to Pick a letter..., as posted several days back. So all of you can pick another letter, any letter, just one out of twenty-six scintillating choices.

The Midnight Shooter and Craig's List

You may remember that I wrote about The Midnight Shooter and his hobby, which is torching off six at three in the morning, thus disturbing my sleep and causing me to wake up on the wrong side of the gutter.  Since the local constabulary took such an enthusiastic interest in this case (yawn), I took the law into my own hands.

Sunday, July 8, 2018

The Midnight Shooter

On Sunday (7/8/18) at 4:12 in the A of M, some silly SOB decided to torch off a few.  This addled firearms aficionado kept this up last summer, generally on the weekend, and generally with his .38 revolver.  Near the end of summer he acquired a second revolver and would shoot them at the same time.

How do I know?  Sound and cadence.  He's fairly close to me - close enough to wake me up which I don't enjoy.  The Columbus PD has about as much interest in this as a dog with a ceiling fan.  He might want to catch it, but since it's always out of reach it's more fun to chase the cat, raid the trash can, or chew the Old Lady's brand new $649.00 shoes that she hasn't worn yet.

Today I took some action.  I posted on Craig's List.

Craig's List - Columbus, OH
The chance of the Midnight Shooter actually seeing this and respecting my wishes is slim and none.  Still, it makes me feel slightly better about the situation.

If it keeps up, I may buy a burner phone and report a shots fired call to Columbus 9-1-1.  Then hang up instead of answering the idiot questions they ask.

Saturday, July 7, 2018

Pick a Letter...

Pick a letter out of the alphabet.  You have twenty-six attractive choices (32 if you count the optional letters that were eliminated by some group of bibliophiles back in the nth century).  So pick one, and remember that your grade for the year does not depend you your selection.

Friday, May 25, 2018

The Death of Officer Amy Caprio and What Scares Me

On Tuesday, May 22, 2018, four young, violent criminals went to work very early in the morning - or late at night, depending on your perspective.  In an upper middle class neighborhood, three of these criminals started their search for a house to burglarize, while the fourth waited and patrolled the immediate area in a stolen car - a black jeep.

Quora Question: Do you have a younger sibling...

Some nameless fathead on Quora posted this philosophical interrogatory.  I hope my answer doesn't disappoint him.

Do you have a younger sibling who would pick on you when you both were children?

My younger brother. He’d do all kinds of stuff to get under my skin, and when I’d react my parents would yell at me, saying he’s just little, so if he breaks your (whatever) it’s just one of those things you have to live with.

We lived very close to a junk yard, so one day when no one was watching I put the snatch on him, duct taped his hands, feet, and mouth, and stuffed him in an empty dog food bag. I tossed the bag into the trunk of a stripped down car headed for the crusher, figuring that would be the last I ever saw of him. I don’t know how, but somehow the little plague got loose and escaped. He stopped giving me grief, though, and about all I can say is that as we got older family holidays and reunions got real interesting.

Nobody believed his wild story, even with the duct tape evidence.

I posted this little gem this morning around 9:30 or so.  Now we'll see what happens, although I expect the censors at Quora will simply delete it out of hand.  With the answers I give I'm probably on their watch list by now.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Quora Question: If I leave work early...

It gets better. Trust me.

Some nameless pinhead on Quora asked: If I leave work early, come home, find an intruder in my house, kill him, and he turns out to be my wife’s lover, who she let in the house, would I go to prison?

My answer:

Thursday, May 17, 2018

A Trip to the Zoo

My thanks to CW Martin over at Tilting at Windmills - Thoughts on every subject, pc be hanged and his inspiration post Zoo 2018, as well as the photo I brazenly stole from him and am now using without permission.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Origins 2018 and the SJWs

It's official.  Origins Game Fair 2018 advertised Larry Correia as an official guest of honor, then rescinded their offer.  So far as I can tell, this troubles Larry about as much as a sky rat nailing John Ward during his lunch at the Club Columbus outdoor Jacuzzi.

Keep reading for a politically insensitive diatribe about the latest SJW attack and why it shouldn't go unchallenged.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Mother's Day Story

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there reading this. I know that some of you had your hands full getting your sons raised without giving in to filicide (I had to look this one up).  Not my own dear mother, of course.  I was a very low maintenance child, never any trouble to anyone, always acting with decorum, obedience, and deportment.

Stop laughing, you bums.

As I reminisce about my childhood, misspent and otherwise, I'm reminded of an event in kindergarten which I was a witness to.

Friday, May 11, 2018

Software Design, 101

The troubles with software design are legion, and are most often perpetuated by borderline idiots from the butterfly department who couldn't find their - well, click for more.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Boredom, Ennui, and a Plan for the Future

I'm really bored.  Inspiration just hasn't hit me this evening.

I was reading on the Internet in some Fuckbook writer's group that the preferred formatting for a sentence structure consists of a period and two spaces, not just one.  This is true for all sentences and punctuation marks, including the oft needed but never used interrobang.  This should be often seen as the terminus of the ubiquitous WTF abbreviation.  Like I just did - see?

Meanwhile, I suffer.

Warning - the rest of this rant spares no ones feelings, political views, or anything else.  We use cookies to track readers.  Your mileage may vary, in fact it's almost a sure thing if you're driving like you usually do.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018


First floor telephones, gents ready made suits, shirts, suits, ties, hats, underwear, and shoes. Going up...

In a crowded elevator, resident DFC Simona Sharoni took command of the elevator buttons and asked SJW victim Richard Ned Lebow which floor he needed. "Ladies lingerie" he said, getting a laugh from everyone except (we are told) Simona Sharoni, who was immediately offended and filed a complaint against Richard.  But of course she waited a few hours to compose herself and withdraw to a safe location.

Standard Warning Officially Issued.  The following is politically incorrect, socially insensitive, and directly attacks SJWs somewhere.  Any micro-aggressions are accidental; all aggressions are meant to be of the macro category.  Your mileage may vary, void where prohibited, the sleeves will ride up with wear.

Saturday, May 5, 2018

My Old Kentucky Home, Bourbon, and Derby

The Kentucky Derby for 2018 is officially history.  Justify (5-2) won it on the sloppiest track since Hector was a pup.  Race day had a record rainfall, dampening the crowd and making things a lot more interesting for the jockeys.

I like Derby Day.  I made myself a nice mint julep and a little snack, and enjoyed watching.  The only thing I don't like about the Kentucky Derby is the way the powers-that-be massacred the song, My Old Kentucky Home.

Spring Holidaze

Today we have two holidays.  It's  Derby Day and Cinco de Mayo (Fifth of May).  Derby Day is the Kentucky Derby, the first leg of the Triple Crown.  Ladies get dressed to the nines, gents wear a suit and tie.  The hats on the ladies are really something to see.

Cinco de Mayo celebrates the victory of Mexico over the French at the Battle of Puebla on May 5th, 1868.  It was an all day fight, but the Mexicans kicked some serious froggy ass that day and sent the cheese eaters back to gay Pairee.  These days you'll see parades and a whole lot of drinking and dancing, with Mexican food to keep your energy level up.

Friday, May 4, 2018

Painting the Town

When Big Mike called an hour or so after civilized people's customary dinner hour, I wasn't surprised.  When he asked me if I'd tied on the feed bag yet (I hadn't), I started hoping for a night out.  Mike suggested the Grass Skirt Tiki Room, Columbus, which is a tried and true restaurant in Columbus.  His argument was that since California Dave was coming into town next month, we had to make sure the Tiki room was still good.

It was.

Thursday, May 3, 2018

The Next Crises: Identity Theft

As usual, I was minding my own business, shopping at the local Kroger store for a basket of victuals and a bottle of attitude adjustment and thought provoker, when unbeknownst to my mother's favorite son, some no good son-of-a-door-knob-sucking-lesbian-two-dollar-whore ripped me off electronically for $69.58 (sixty nine dollars and fifty eight cents).  Then, before I even knew this happened, I found myself out in Golden, Colorado at an Amoco where I spent $12 and change on petrol.

Keep reading, but be aware that there is non-pc speak ahead.  Your mileage is not likely to vary, exists where prohibited, no moonbats allowed, this is not a safe space.  Therapy is likely to consist of guns, dogs, whiskey, erudite conversation, and women of questionable moral character.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Noisy Neighbor Problems Part 2

We just finished a meeting of the HOA Board of Directors, which turned into a civilized version of the Mississippi Free For All!

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Noisy Neighbor Problems

I've got a noisy neighbor whom we'll call Tyrone.  He lives alone, plays loud rap music anytime he's conscious and the thought occurs to him, and likes to sit at the entrance to his garage smoking hand rolled cigarettes that smell funny and sucking on a 40.  He works on his car in the driveway with his bare ass hanging out for all to see.  I live in a condo and have a home owner's association, but the HOA would rather not get involved.  On several occasions they have outright refused to get involved.

Friday, April 20, 2018

Hate Crime in Sylvania and Equality

This just in via Toledo Talk and The Blade of Toledo.

A notepad with a crude drawing of a swastika and a hate message was allegedly discovered in the cabin of an official city vehicle.  When the information was released, a cloud of moonbats rose into the sky intent on revenge.

Keep reading for a politically incorrect and insensitive opinion on the story and find out why I'm sick to death of white people getting blamed for everything.

Firearm Product Recall Notice

The The Gun Blog Black List has a product recall notice here - Lyman Recall. If you're a gun owner or shooter, this is worth reading.

My thanks to the folks at the Gun Blog Black List for posting this.  Recalling a firearm is rare, and always has been.  Finding out that the pistol you're about to shoot has been recalled is not all that easy.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

SJWs - Kick 'em When They're Down

Moonbat Alert! Moonbat Alert! Eject! Eject! Eject!

I short time ago I wrote a blog post about the Starbust Kerfluffle. Read it here as it amuses you to do so.  My post attracted a moonbat (I have no idea how she found her way here, believe me.  I suppose she might have had one white wine too many and wandered into the Men's by mistake) and she left a little hate mail for me. I decided to fisk it because, well, I can.  And I'm a bit tired of the yammering without a few people shouting back - even if it's no more than shut the fuck up out there!

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

CNN and Starbucks: They Both Got it Wrong

Say you're a moderately wealthy motel owner.  You own The Blue Moon motor hotel, which consists of a detached office with living quarters and twelve individual bungalows.  The bungalows rent for $24 a night.  Business is good, especially on the weekends.

Two people arrive at your motel.  They make themselves comfortable in one of your bungalows (number 10, if it matters) and when questioned by the manager, they explain that they just want to sit a little while.  Fine, you say, but that will cost you $24.  They refuse to pay and refuse to move.  They just want to sit a little while and talk, and dirty the room, dirty the bathroom, and maybe make off with a few motel towels.

This scenario has been a real problem lately.  People wanting to sit and rest up, dirty the room, but not pay any rent.  You call the police to have them evicted, and suddenly you're the bad guy.  How dare you?  These people weren't doing anything wrong!  You're a racist, insensitive misogynist and we all hope you die in a fire!

Which is what happened to a hapless manager at Starbucks.  Keep reading for a racially insensitive, highly biased review of the entire Starbucks fiasco.

Monday, April 16, 2018

Patience is a Virtue

Ever since I was a little shaver, I was taught that patience is a virtue.  I never knew what a virtue was, exactly, nor did I discover patience until I was a good deal older and discovered that pounding on the back door with a hammer was not the preferred way to get the latch to engage.  Telling my father that he pounded on stuff to get it to work didn't help the situation any.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Joke Time: Unsafe at Any Speed

Caution: Open at your own risk.  Not Politically Correct, Socially Sensitive, or... Eff it.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  Any SJW, Snowflake, Moonbat, or other overly fragile oxygen thief who wants to leave a hate message and complain about me to the powers that be, feel free to do so.

Hope for the Next Generation

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Joke Time! Not PC, Not Safe for Work

A Day Without Political Correctness
How about let's piss off everyone and give political correctness a day off?

On Age and Aging

'I am old, Gandalf. I don't look it, but I am beginning to feel it in my heart of hearts. Well-preserved indeed!' he snorted. 'Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread. That can't be right. I need a change, or something.'

- Bilbo Baggins, a literary device of J.R.R. Tolkien in The Lord of the Rings

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Incredible Ignorance on the Left

Maybe I should have titled this one, Moonbat Mayhem.  Read at your own risk.  Not safe for consumption if you're a thin-skinned liberal looking for a fight.  I don't fight fair and I like it.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

The Advantage of a Crapcopter (Not PC, Not Safe for Work)

As intelligent and erudite as all of my readers are, I'd be surprised if you could guess the correct answer to this question the first time out.  People in the know claim it's common sense, and I guess it is once you see it for yourself.

From what little I know about aircraft, a helicopter's blade (in cross-section) is shaped like an airplane's wing.  Both catch air the same way, providing lift.

The Question: What is the primary advantage of rotary winged aircraft over fixed-winged aircraft?

Click for the answer below.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Fiction as Fact

My thanks to the Bayou Renaissance Man for this communiqué: Another anti-gunner falsifies her arguments.


About three weeks ago the phone rang late in the afternoon.  I checked the caller ID and sent it straight to voice mail.

Migraine One.

She was wondering if I'd dropped off the face of the earth, if I was still alive, and by the sound of her voice she was sober.  This is not a good portent.  Were the cute little twist in her usual state, she'd fixate on someone else in fifteen minutes or so, and that would be that.  I let a week go by, during which time Nikolas Jacob Cruz allegedly murdered 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida on February 14th, 2018.

Polite social convention dictates that I return Migraine One's phone call.  Common sense tells me to ignore it, and maybe she'll forget the whole business.  Then again, her trolley has been known to jump the tracks in the past, and if she's really having mental difficulties I would not want to deliberately ignore her, only to discover later on that she's finally managed to do herself in.  Guilt, you know.

I called her brother Sticks, who said he hadn't heard from her.  So, gritting my teeth, I call her at a time when I have reason to believe that most people with her habits are fairly sober.  My call goes to voice mail.  I left a cordial message and hung up.

Since I don't get a return call, I try again.  Again, no response.  Not even a 'Fuck you, Jack!  You godless Trump supporting gun owning bastard!! This is all your fault!!!'  The results of the last presidential election were entirely my fault, you see.  And yes, you're quite welcome.  I'm glad to be of service.

Today I got some voice mail from Migraine One.  She's alive and, at the time of the call, fairly sober.  Her reason for not calling?

'I'm very upset over the recent events, and I know that you and I don't agree on politics or civil rights, so I think it's best if we don't talk for a while.'

Saints be praised!

Anyone would think that Migraine One is just another screwed up anti-freedom moonbat.  She isn't.  She's intelligent, erudite, and articulate.  She spent most of her adult life as a west coast journalist (granolaville) and so has a warped vision of the world.  The trouble is, she isn't alone.

The Left is back to the old gun control issue, and the Right isn't handling it well.  What the political Right should be doing is hammering the Left on:

Abortion.  Read about the Kermit Gosnell case, if you have the stomach for it.  The Gosnell case did not get the kind of press it should have, and the reason is the Left.  Gosnell and his crew of murderous psychopaths were able to do what they did because of State and Local Governments staffed entirely by Democrats.

Violent Crime and Illegal Immigrants.  Check out what's going wrong in Jolly Old with their Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS)/Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (ISIL)/Islamic State (IS) refugees, then plan accordingly for the United States.  The reason we're not having more problems than we are is because of the sheer size of the U.S.  Just put a colony of those goat fuckers in Wyoming in the fall.  Next spring, collect the head rags and leave the rest as coyote bait.  While we're at it, produce a violence report on MS 13 and note how many of them are illegal immigrants.

Islamic Muslims and Women's Rights.  Ever hear of female genital mutilation (FGM)?  Because if the Left hasn't, the Islamic Muslims sure have.  I'm not going to go into details, but the thing I cannot for the life of me understand is why this practice hasn't sent every single feminazi in the U.S. to their local gun store in search of a shotgun and a box of double-ought buck.

Attack the Left on all three issues.  Exaggerate, make ad hominem attacks, go off on screeds that have nothing to do with the topic at hand - unless that topic is one of the chosen three.  Then keep hammering.  Don't have civil discussions.  When the Left talks over you, raise your voice.  Stand up, swear, call 'em every vile thing you can think of.  Maybe a few of them will get the idea and shut up.  Maybe a few of those will begin to listen.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Quora Question: Who was the first person to show people how to dance?

I don't know what they're teaching in school these days.  You'd think a solid foundation of the history of social dancing would have been covered in Antediluvian History 101, but recent evidence suggests otherwise.  Someone who's mind is clearly troubled posted this question to the learned contributors of Quora (think in terms of Wikipedia rejects, neurotic amateurs, and consummate charlatans) seeking a bit of trivia.

Friday, March 9, 2018

Daze of Our Lives

It's 11:44 PM on Thursday, March 8th, 2018.  That means that it's still International Women’s Day, which we can read all about at International Women’s Day dot Com.  Won't that be funsy-wunsy?

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Joke Time! Letters from Home...

Here is a little something or other that showed up someplace in my email.  It's not safe for work.

In fact, this entire site is not safe for work, nor is it safe for thin-skinned liberals, or even liberals with the hide of a rhinoceros.  Other left-minded types are likewise warned off, because some of things you may read here will permanently bend your fragile little perception of reality.

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Domestic Terrorist Attacks: One Solution

What with the latest moonbat kafuffle about arming the school teachers as a preventative measure against domestic terrorism, I thought I might as well weigh in and offend a few people.

Trigger Warning: Betsy has a hair trigger, and you best have a fine bead on your target before you put your booger hook on the bang switch.

Monday, February 19, 2018

Nikolas Cruz, What Went Wrong

I was reading someone's blog today, and I can't remember just who the author of the post was, but it was pointed out that children are changing, and the change in behavior is most noticeable to old people.  Especially old curmudgeons, of which I am one.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Nikolas Cruz, the Shooter and the Solution

On Wednesday, February 14th, 2018, 19-year-old Nikolas Cruz (allegedly) perpetrated a terrorist attack on the students and staff at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida.  Using an AR-15 rifle, Cruz murdered seventeen (17) people and injured dozens more.  The attack lasted seven minutes, after which Cruz ditched his rifle and other gear, and successfully passed himself off as a victim by temporarily joining the students fleeing the school.  He stopped at a fast food restaurant, and was eventually apprehended by local police over an hour later, more by accident than on purpose.  Cruz immediately confessed to being the school shooter that law enforcement was looking for, probably scaring the living bejeezus out of the uniform cops that initially stopped Cruz to question him.  Cruz is now in custody, has a public defender, and is on suicide watch.

Monday, February 12, 2018

A Democrat, a Republican, and a Southerner walk into a bar...



Monday, February 5, 2018

More Problems With Blogger

As some of you know, I've been having problems with blogger.  In particular, anything I post in the comments section at Filthie's Thunderbox tends to turn up in eastern electronic thombolia, never to be seen again.  Well, sort of never to be seen again, as both the owner of the blog, the inimitable Glen Filthie, and the owner of the comment, your humble host here at Mad Jack's Shack, both see the elusive comment echoed to our respective email addresses.  The comment itself, however, is gone.

I wrote about this before in Problems with Blogger, and found a similar topic over on The Silicon Graybeard who wrote about his tribulations in Any Fellow Bloggers Having Problems with Blogger Itself?.  I responded that I was, in fact, having problems, but no-one suggested a solution.  I tend to think that a few readers may think that I'm blogging in an impaired state, and so my observations are incredible at best.  I now have proof, in the form of a couple screen shots.

Here we see a typical erudite, cultured post by Glen.  I was inspired to write a comment, and did so.  Here's the proof. 

Thread with Comment by Yours Truly
I then clicked on the homepage for the Thunderbox, and much to my chagrin noted that my comment had vanished.

Missing Comment
This doesn't happen to all comments, and it doesn't happen all the time.  For a long while, things were working just fine.  Now this.

So if anyone has any suggestion about a way to fix this problem, or who to complain to, please sound off in the comments section.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

President Trump and the State of the Union in 2018

I watched President Trump's State of the Union speech last night.  The moonbats refused to applaud or even rise when the President entered the room, and most of them looked too sour to make lemonade with.  Under other circumstances, I'd find their behavior funny.  This, however, is the federal government, and the rest of the world is watching.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Canada Gets Invaded

For reasons best known to my headshrinker, I accept questions from Quora in my email.  Occasionally I answer one or two, mainly for my own amusement, and mainly because questions asked on Quora are dumb - as are the associated inquisitors.

This one put me in mind of Glen Filthie, operator of Filthie's Thunderbox - Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted.   I can't say just why this association was triggered, but since I was out at Big Mike's house last night watching hockey, eating pizza, and drinking, perhaps it's just as well I move right along and get to the point for once.  At once.  Whatever.

The proposed question is: How could Canada defend itself against a hypothetical invasion by the USA?

Given that this is not one of the dumbest questions I've ever seen on Quora, I decided to decompose an answer. Here's my response, less the ad homonym attacks and personal insults based on heredity:

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

  • Free beer. The invaders will drink it, and the hangover they get from that swill is guaranteed to kill the weak ones, and send the rest into the hospital with damage to the digestive system.

  • Brutally cold winter weather in the middle of summer. Those that didn’t succumb to the elements during winter, spring, and fall will be killed and eaten by the black flies sometime during the three days of summer.

  • The threat of electing Justin Trudeau into office. It doesn't matter which office, just the thought of Trudeau occupying an office in the government would be enough to send any sane, intelligent U.S. citizen back to Florida.  Or North Dakota.  Wherever.  Everyone who learns of this threat and remains in Canada as a part of the invasion force can stay there as part of the occupation.  Give 'em a year, and they'll be a burden to the Canadian taxpayer instead of the U.S.

And that’s how Canada would defeat a multi-trillion dollar U.S. invasion.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

The Night at Natalie's

I went to Natalie's Coal Fired Pizza and Live Music last night.  The food and service were excellent, as usual.  The band was a little slow.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Problems with Blogger

Here's the deal.  Glen Filthie over at Filthie's Thunderbox will, occasionally, post something that isn't an obvious troll or click bait or... whatever.  Whenever I'm inebriated impaired enough to rise to the occasion and contribute my two cents, it's a crapshoot as to whether or not the comment will vanish.  I've noticed that the same thing is true on other blogger sites, although I Glen's is the only site I've really tested.  I think I've lost comments on Bayou Renaissance Man as well, although given my kind, considerate and sensitive nature I'm sure that no right-thinking blog owner would ever think of deleting my timely contribution.

As if.

I also posted on Old NFO's site: Nobody Asked Me... without a problem, but he isn't on Blogger.

The Internet in general seems to be slow, Blogger especially.  Posting a comment takes 30 seconds or more.

So if anyone can shed any light on this, by all means sound off.  If you'd like to post a test comment on my site to see what happens to it, help yourself.

Thanks in advance.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Worthy Read on Feminism

I occasionally read According to Hoyt, the blog by novelist Sarah A. Hoyt, who, by her own admission, is taking over the world and leaving it ruthlessly alone. Every once in a while Sarah really hits one out of the park.

It’s like Robespierre stopping at the top of the steps to the guillotine and going “how did things get like this?” - Hoyt
To which the executioner replied, "It's a long story, and we haven't the time. Now if you'll just step this way, please..." - Mad Jack
This quote is from Sarah's latest contribution to the war on weak minds, Wrong Battle, Insane Tactics

For reasons that are completely unclear to me, Sarah decided to read Am I a bad feminist?, an opinion piece by Margaret Atwood, which evidently inspired her to comment on the current state of Atwood's mind.  You see, an elite cadre of Atwood's fans mysteriously turned on her, surprising no one except Atwood, which causes her to wonder aloud - What would a Good Feminist look like, in the eyes of my accusers?

The narcissistic, self-evident answer is, literally, Margaret Atwood, but I suppose any notable anti-freedom zealot who lacks wedding tackle will suffice.

Sarah, being on the sunny side of the bell curve as well as being a gentlewoman and a scholar, puts the lie to Atwood's ramblings. I think it's a worthy read.

Monday, January 8, 2018

The Misguided Police Action on Drugs

Well, the war on drugs is back.  Since upper management of the United States never declared a cease-fire or offered to negotiate a peace treaty or terms of surrender, I would guess the war never really stopped. There was a kind of lull during the reign of the Ayatollah Obongo, but now that Grand Slam has taken up residence in the big white double-wide on Pennsylvania Avenue, the circus is back on the road again.

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Wind Chill

This just in from the friendly, helpful folks at the global warming office, who, due to funding cuts, are not able to provide the residents of the mid-west the kind of temperatures we'd enjoy getting used to.

Five Biased Anti-Freedom Commercial News Media Sources

My thanks to Old NFO for posting this.  Here are two links to the top five worst fake news gun reports published by commercial media in 2017.  The sources are worth noting, along with the commentary.

Top five… by OldNFO, which includes a link to this article, Here Are the 5 Worst ‘Fake News’ Reports on Guns in 2017 by Emily Miller at The Daily Signal.

I stopped reading The Economist after their blatant anti-freedom articles appeared.  I'm saddened by this, as this publication was once an even-handed, reliable source of information.  I guess everything changes - and often not for the better.  Micro$oft Windoze, for instance, has been improved since version 3.1, but not all changes were obvious improvements.

The publication that really concerns me is Associated Press.  Virtually everyone on the sunny side of the bell curve reads and believes whatever the AP publishes.  Not good, and I note by their actions that the staff at AP feel no sense of responsibility.

Friday, January 5, 2018

On The Road Again

I've spent an inordinate amount of my lifetime traveling and living in different places.  My home is in Columbus, Ohio, but that wasn't always the case; I was born and raised on a horse farm in Sylvania Township, Ohio, near the Michigan line.

Old Grandpa Parsimonious had a very colorful life.  He served in WWI in the US Navy as a radio operator, and as a result learned how to repair a radio and could send messages in Morse code (actually International Morse, or International Code).  When he got home from the war, he went to work for the Kroger company, then opened his own truck line, which he later sold.  After the truck line he worked for the Interstate Commerce Commission (ICC).  If you were in the trucking business and you wanted to haul freight, the route had to be approved by the ICC.  Hence Grandpa Parsimonious got a collection of various items (and probably cash) with the idea that we're all pals here, and from one old buddy to another maybe you could see your way clear to approving this particular route.  The old boy spent a good deal of time in Washington D.C., and he used to be able to point out various elected officials and tell you what it would cost to buy them.  No, I'm not kidding.  When that little misunderstanding known as Watergate hit the TV airwaves, the old boy knew some of the people involved and knew they were crooked.

Monday, January 1, 2018


I found this one at Knuckledraggin' My Life Away, where bad choices make good stories.  I thought it was too good not to pass along.

Trigger Warning!  Not safe for Liberals or SJWs.