Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy New Year! Happy 2014!

Happy new year to everyone reading this. I'm staying in this year, New Year's Eve being the original amateur night and the police being serious about this drunk driving business. In my younger days I used to go out and tear it up pretty good on New Year's Eve. Then I started doing the hotel room package deal, which worked out real well. These days I just don't feel up to screwing around with a roomful of obnoxious drunks. Here's a tip of the old Fedora and a hoist of the happy hour bourbon glass to all the people who have to work tonight. I hope you all have a real boring shift, but I'm guessing you won't. Please stay safe out there while you're dealing with the drunks, family squabbles and house fires. Thanks for your service. See you all in 2014.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Robert Burns Dinner 2014

Pay attention, sit up and stop mumbling.  Two years ago Big Mike, Lash and I attended the Scottish event of the year in Columbus, Ohio.  I wrote about it here, in the Robert Burns Dinner in Review. Well, it's on again. Check the official website at Robert Burns Dinner, read my review if you want to know what to expect, then plan to attend the event at the Smoke House and have a roaring good time. Big Mike and I will be there, Lord willing and the creek don't rise.

Merry Christmas

Yeah, that's right.  Christmas.  Not 'Happy Holidays' or any of that other happy horseshit.  Keep reading for a politically incorrect view of Christmas and a recipe for egg nog that will flatten all but the professional drunkard.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Playing Doctor - Nursie for Real - Update

For the gory details, see my previous post.  Meantime, here's the straight skinny on what really happened during the six hour delay.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Playing Doctor - Nursie For Real

It seems that Flopsy (Main Lady's eldest Little Darling) came down with the crud, the major symptom being the digestive tract threatening to issue the last meal a return to sender combined with quality control issues in what is delicately labeled as the lower tract.  This started about two weeks before turkey day, and it got so bad that on Monday before T-Day Flopsy went off to the sawbones.  Keep reading for medical outrage.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Albert is Suspended

You may recall that my brother, Shotgun Bob and his wife now have a son, an 11 year old boy named Albert.  The kid is bright, but doesn't have the patience for problem solving.  He gives up too easily.  When Shotgun Bob got him as a foster child, the public school system advised all concerned that Albert was ADD, ADHD and a classic PITA.  The State, in its infinite wisdom, put Albert on some kind of drug cocktail designed to calm him down while increasing his love of all things feminine.

Once adopted, the medication officially ceased.  When Albert becomes too rambunctious he and the dog pack get turned outside to amuse themselves on Shotgun Bob's six or eight acres that includes a dense forest.  Albert wears himself out and turns up about supper time unless he's cadging a meal at the neighbor's house.  Daily chores can be problematical, but if Shotgun Bob is working on some kind of project, like building fence or putting a roof on the shed, Albert is right there with him.  He thinks it's fun to work with Shotgun Bob, you see.  And I guess it is if you're an energetic eleven year old boy.  For one thing you get to belt stuff with a hammer, and if you get dirty no one cares.

I guess Albert was in school a week or so ago, standing around the classroom talking to some other little boy, when Suzy Smartypants walked up to the duo and, pointing at each boy in turn, proclaimed in a loud voice that, "You're a dweeb and you're a geek."  To which Albert replied, "What's that you're wearing?  A unibrow?"

Completely devastated by this unwarranted verbal attack, Suzy burst into tears.  She was immediately surrounded by a protective circle of her symbolic litter mates who murmured words of comfort interspersed with howls for vengeance justice to be visited upon Albert and his cadre of future oppressors.  The local authority figure sallied forth and after quieting Susie's hysterics, escorted Albert to the principal's office where he was suspended for three days.  Susie is undergoing therapy - not electroshock therapy, which is too bad, but regular old therapy.

Back in the old days when something like this happened the participants were told to sit down and be quiet, and that was the end of the matter.

Shotgun Bob managed not to laugh out loud when he heard about the whole business.  His only thoughts on the matter revolve around the fact that all authority figures concerned are female, and all are black.  He wonders how much discrimination is involved here.  Which, frankly, I wonder about as well.

Meantime the family came up for Thanksgiving and we took Albert out to the gun range.  I have a Smith and Wesson .22 revolver that he's able to shoot, and he turned in a respectable score.  More importantly he didn't violate any of the four rules of gun safety, nor did he cause any adults nearby to flinch.

The holiday went pretty smoothly.  I refused to allow Shotgun Bob's wife to get under my skin, even when I caught her going through Mom's china and picking out the pieces she wanted to have after Mom dies.  I think that's a bit much, but maybe that's just me.

Oh well.  I hope everyone reading this had a happy Thanksgiving holiday.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Sylvania Township Trustee Election 2013 - Unofficial Results

The unofficial election results are in, and unless something completely unforeseen happens here's how things shake out for Sylvania Township.  As usual, there's good news and bad news.

Read on, with an obligatory profanity warning

Friday, November 1, 2013

Police Shooting: Erick Gelhaus and Andy Lopez

It's happened again.  I was holding off on this one to see what the FBI investigation comes up with, but Peter Grant wrote about it here, Bayou Renaissance Man: The lynch mobs are out again, and he's defending the police officer with a vengeance. 

Keep reading to see my take on the whole deal.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Another Execution, Another Government Screw-Up

Some Moonbat somewhere came up with the phrase, 'it takes a village'.  I can't remember just who it was.  It could have been Hitlery, but it might have been that talking head that looks like 300 pounds of bear liver in a plastic bag.  You know, what's-her-name.  What I'm leading up to is that to really screw things up, and I'm talking big time screw ups that start with a brain storming session in some baby kisser's office and move right through the initial design, the safety and regulatory modifications, then pick up a few more screw ups from the joy-boys in the advertising agency who are supposed to tell the Great Unwashed just how valuable and new and shiny and better and exciting this thing is, well... for that kind of gargantuan screw up, it takes a government.

Want proof?  They've done it again.  If you keep reading and if you're 18 or under, be aware that your mother will not approve of the language or ideas you'll find below the fold.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Sylvania Township Trustee Election - Write Your Candidate!

One thing you can always count on.  If you are fortunate enough to ever be able to speak directly to your elected official (at any level) you can bet your bankroll against a plugged nickel that it's close to election time.  Otherwise, we're supposed to shut up and take it, unless we're applauding whatever latest fiasco our fearless leader is spending our tax dollars on.  I could go on in this vein for another thousand words or more, but what's the point?

It's about two weeks until election time, and if you want to write your potential Sylvania Township Trustee and as a few pertinent questions, now's your chance.  What - don't have his email?  Ah... how about that.  Here are a few of the email addresses for your candidates - those without an email address can be contacted through their website:

Friday, October 25, 2013

Sylvania Township Trustee Election - 2013

Up for reelection are Haddad and Jennewine. I wrote a warm, sensitive but somewhat lengthy piece on the election and was about to post it, but then I fat fingered the keyboard and lost the whole business. Oh well. Here's the summary:

Penny Levine, D (Moonbat)
No. Not just no, but hell no. I've written about Levine before, and in two years neither of us have changed. The woman is crude and authoritative. She wants to raise taxes, enact new tax levies and she favors the elimination of the township in favor of a city. She refuses to get involved in the Internet because putting anything in writing can come back to bite you later on. Anyone is better than Levine.

John Jennewine, I (Moonbats won't have him and Wingnuts kicked him out)
Yes. Incumbent Jennewine hasn't done much for government, but that's a good thing. The man knows enough to think things through carefully and he seems to be pretty well organized. He hasn't destroyed anything, and if he has any fault at all it's that he's failed to hand Haddad a haymaker to snot locker when Haddad started up with him.

John Jennewine has been keeping his eye and business acumen on the major projects in Sylvania, such as the construction of a new fire house, and is doing his best to bring this one in under budget. That means that:
1. He's showing responsibility. It took me a minute to realize this, as so few politicians show real responsibility these days.
2. He's guaranteed to get right under the thin skin of every Moonbat within payoff distance. Keeping an eye on the money means a whole lot less of it will get wasted, which pisses off the Moonbats.

Don Miller, R (Wingnut In Name Only)
Yes, and I'd vote for him twice. Miller favors separation of city and township; he opposes annexation of township land by the city. More importantly, Miller is a successful business owner who believes in raising tax money by attracting more successful businesses to the area. This is a very refreshing outlook.

Miller is that very rare commodity that should be seized before he wises up and refuses to get involved in politics: he's an honest, intelligent politico. My only reservation about Miller is that he's inexperienced and has solid, well-reasoned ideas about the best way for the Township to grow. As such he'll be opposed for no logical reason, he'll get shouted down at meetings and Haddad will call him names. If he can hold on to his temper and exert some patience, Miller could make a real difference.

John H. Crandall, D (Moonbat)
No. Crandall is over 70 years old and favors increased taxation, increased government authority and truly believes that the township should be eliminated in favor of one big city government - with John Crandall in the driver's seat. If you want someone else to run your life for you, there are better options than Crandall.

Kevin Haddad, I (Moonbat Without A Clue)
No. Incumbent Haddad is the same old Haddad that wouldn't get off the garbage collection jag until he attended a Township meeting and a group of residents hung him in effigy. He's got the tenacity of a Lake Erie catfish and a Levine-esque love of government oversight - especially with Haddad at the wheel. Want to end up in the ditch? Vote for Haddad.

For my comments about Levine, see Toledo Talk: Sylvania Township Trustee Election, 2011 and November Election Results and Ruminations - 2011.

I'll be posting more later on, including a few websites where the candidates can make their platform and priorities known to The Great Unwashed.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Thank A Police Officer Day 2013

Today is Thank A Police Officer Day; Saturday, September 21, 2013.  Today I'm ignoring the bad behavior of a few and thanking the rest of the department for their service.

I live in Sylvania Township, Ohio which is not to be confused with the city of Sylvania.  We in the township have our own police department, which is comprised of the best officers East of the Mississippi and North of the Mason-Dixon line.  My thanks to the Sylvania Township Police Department for doing an outstanding job.  I've written about the Sylvania Township police on other occasions; here are two:Late Breaking News: Major Electric Blackout Averted and Sylvania Township Police.

We live next door to the city of Sylvania, and in fact Main Lady is served by the Sylvania PD.  Sylvania did an outstanding job for us which I related here: Hit and Run. I'll never forget seeing this abandoned car in Main Lady's front yard and wondering (aloud) what I was going to do.  The officer replied cheerfully that they'd be glad to tow it out of there for me, which lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.  Between the Township and the City they caught the driver, who was hammered beyond coherent thought and who claimed a neck injury and so went to the hospital for a butt load of pain killers rather than a medium sized set of lumps and an extended stay in the drunk tank.  The court system let the offender go, by the way.  If I didn't know better, I'd say there was some kind of job security conspiracy going on between the judge, the lawyers and the cops.  You guys bust 'em, we'll prosecute and defend 'em, and the judge will let 'em go.  They're bound to screw up again, and you guys can bust 'em.

How real does some of that sound to the cops out there?

Finally I come to the Toledo Police Department, which I wrote about in My Ride Along. Suffice to say that I saw them in action and these officers turned in an absolutely stellar performance when they assisted a mentally ill woman.  Thanks to their kindness and consideration these two officers really turned her day around for her.

So then, this is my thanks to all you police officers out there.  You show up every single day for work and hope for a nice, quiet day.  Every time you interact with the public you make someone's life just a little better, and every once in a while you get the chance to make a huge difference in someone's life.

My sincere thanks, a tip of the old fedora and a hoist of my afternoon bourbon glass.

Here's how!

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Rant: Taxes, Fire and Police

What do I get for my tax dollars?  In my case, not a whole helluva lot.  I'm sick and tired of being overtaxed and not getting anything in return.  I'd like to see some politician put a few questions on the ballot sometime about how our tax dollars get spent and how we, the great unwashed, would like to see the same dollars spent.  I'll bet it would be forty below in Hell before the government ever did anything like that again.

Keep reading for a Class 'A' rant.  Caution: This post contains offensive language and sedition.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Saturday Shoot

A friend of mine whom I will refer to as Executive Mendicant suggested we go to the range on Saturday and put some lead in the air.  Well then, who am I to be anti-copacetic?  Keep reading to see the range results (you'll feel better about yourself) and a review of the Smith and Wesson Airweight.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Where's the Dirt?

I'm kind of wondering just who is dirtier - politicians or commercial media.  I'm thinking it depends on the day and the players.

Consider that Representative Monique D. Davis (D) 27th District recently made an inflammatory comment on AM radio that is being taken as far out of context as liability lawsuits will allow, and maybe a little further if the alleged perpetrator in question is one of the numerous non-profit organizations catering to a protected category of people.

But before I get started I'm going to set the stage, and I'd like you, the reader, to indulge me a minute and read this next paragraph carefully.

Imagine you're in Chicago.  The notorious Big Windy.  Imagine you have a nice, big feather pillow.  Go to the very top of the Willis Tower (AKA Sears Tower) first thing in the morning on a day with a nice breeze blowing.  Stand on the roof, lean over the railing and rip the pillow open.  Shake all the feathers out of the pillow and watch the wind distribute those feathers all over Chicago.

That's how a rumor starts.

Now what I'd like you to do is go collect up the feathers, every last one, and put them back into the pillow.

That's what it takes to quash a rumor.

Keep reading for an informative, well-written rant about police, commercial media and several sterling examples of just what is wrong with commercial media and government today.

Restaurant Review: Pho Viet Nam

I don't have the spelling quite right on this one.  The 'o' in Pho stays mainly in the snow is a lower case oh with a tiny question mark hovering over it and what appears to be a small accent mark to the right.  I can't find the letter anywhere, and I'm probably not pronouncing it right anyway.

Pho' Viet Nam
3636 Upton Ave.; Toledo, OH 43613
Open 7 Days a Week
10:00 AM to 10:00 PM
(419) 720-2952

This place is a real diamond in the rough, and once word spreads you'll have to wait in line to get in.  As it is, the crowd is still a little sparse during lunch.  Keep reading to get the low down news on Pho.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Flower Photos - July 21, 2013

Whenever I'm at a loss to write something I find myself posting photos. Well, I've got several ideas for controversial posts, but I haven't written these philosophical contributions to civilization as we know it as yet. While everyone is patiently waiting for a definition of the universe and nine examples, here are a few flower photos I took while ambulating around Main Lady's front yard and enjoying my early afternoon bourbon.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Hey pal, wanna buy a city?

For anyone who gives a tinker's damn, the city of Detroit, Michigan has filed for bankruptcy.  You can read all about this situation in about eighty bazillion places on the Internet, but at the end of the day they all say the same thing: The city of Detroit is dead broke and in hock right up past the tallest smoke stack in Detroit - which hasn't been contributing to air pollution since 1973.

Once we find a solution for air pollution, we discover we can't afford it.  Go figure, right?  No one except the members of the Detroit city council needed a crystal ball to find out Detroit was in severe financial trouble, and has been in trouble for years.  The proverbial icing on the cake was when Kwame Kilpatrick was elected Mayor of Detroit.  Kwame was (and remains) corrupt, arrogant and stupid.  He got caught stealing money from the city, and once he and his office were investigated Kwame racked up a list of felonies longer than - well, pretty long.

Although this isn't much more than a news item for most of the world, because if you don't live in Detroit you aren't affected, it's a train wreck of catastrophic proportions to others.  Keep reading for my take on it and my rant about it.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Martin - Zimmerman Verdict

Not guilty, yer honner.  Now can we call it a day?

I've been deliberately refraining from writing about the Zimmerman case, mainly because I tend to rant and rave a little too much about the injustice of the trial.  If you're really interested in learning a little more about the Zimmerman trial, here are four links that have very well written articles about the Zimmerman trial.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Albert's First Gun

Some of you may recall that I have a brother, Shotgun Bob, who is married to The Girl.  They now have a son, Albert.  You may read a very brief biography of each in the official cast of characters, or not as it amuses you to do so.

All that being the case, Albert was officially adopted by Shotgun Bob and The Girl in May of 2013, so Shotgun Bob thought it would be nice to give Albert a little 'welcome to the family' party.  I decided to give Albert a .22 rifle - cue the Moonbats!  Let me hear that wailing and gnashing of teeth!  Don't worry, The Ayatollah ObamaCare will cover your dental bill! - as I was saying, a .22 rifle as a sort of welcome gift.  Keep reading to learn about the rifle and the history behind it.

Origins Game Fair 2013 - Things to do, Things to Avoid (like the plague)

This is my final Origins post - what a relief, right?  Keep reading for my list of events to avoid and why, along with a review of events that are well run and a few tips on the Origins staff attitudes and standard operating procedure.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Origins Game Fair 2013 - Final Days

Friday and Saturday I destroyed the entire world twice.  In between times I played T&T, attended a lecture by Maxwell Alexander Drake and played several other games in the Boardroom.  Keep reading to learn about the good, the remarkable and the unusual.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Origins Game Fair 2013 - Thursday, We Play Arkham Horror

I was just getting out of a seminar when I got the call from Big Mike informing me tersely that the Arkham Horror event we wanted to attend was just upgraded and I should meet my two comrades at the official event registration area pronto.  Keep reading for an invaluable tip on event registration.

Origins Game Fair 2013 - Thursday, We Play and Review Leviathans

Last week Big Mike, California Dave and I attended the Origins Game Fair which I wrote about here, in Origins Game Fair 2013. There's good news and bad news about the next day, which we spent playing miniature and board games, including one game that was upgraded to pseudo V.I.P. status.  Keep reading to learn more than you'd ever want to know about a popular airship miniatures game and the further fumbling of the Origins staff.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Origins Game Fair 2013

I spent a week enjoying Big Mike's sterling hospitality in the company of my brother California Dave, and all three of us attended the Origins Game Fair in Columbus, Ohio.  Keep reading for an informative diatribe about the convention, including a few tips on the best way to navigate convention bureaucracy.

Monday, June 10, 2013

The Drowsy Chaperone at the Toledo Rep

Playing June 7-23, 2013 at:
The Toledo Repertoire Theatre
16 10th St.; Toledo, OH 43604

My brother California Dave is in town for an extended visit (he'll be here until his attorney straightens out a few things in L.A.), and being in need of amusement I decided to take Mom and Dave to the latest Toledo Rep production, The Drowsy Chaperone.  This is possibly the best decision I'll make this month, and it's still early.

Right from the time you can hear the hinges creak and the deus ex machina drops in right up until the fat lady closes out the show and the aulaeum drops, you'll be entertained by a Broadway quality production.  Keep reading to get the particulars, without spoilers.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Crass Commercial Message: Take The Star Road

Standard Disclaimer: I'm not getting paid for this, unless Peter decides to pay me to take the post down.  Likewise with the review; I don't make a dime.

I enjoy reading the Bayou Renaissance Man, who is actually Peter Grant, a fifty something ex-military, ex-IT Office Slave and ex-sky pilot. A few years back he ditched Africa for the good old U.S. of A., got hitched and planted himself in Tennessee. Just why anyone would want to live in Tennessee, I couldn't tell you, but Peter and Shotgun Bob seem to enjoy it.

Peter writes well and has published his first novel on Amazon - Take The Star Road - which is, in the author's very own words, a story about how...
Nineteen-year-old Steve Maxwell just wants to get his feet on the star road to find a better homeworld. By facing down Lotus Tong thugs, he earns an opportunity to become a spacer apprentice on a merchant spaceship, leaving the corruption and crime of Earth behind. Sure, he needs to prove himself to an older, tight-knit crew, but how bad can it be if he keeps his head down and the decks clean
How bad? Bad. Because if it weren't there wouldn't be a story to tell.  See?

I don't know Peter, but judging from his blog I'd have something in common with him, and he's far enough to the right to appeal to me.  His writing is free from glaring grammatical errors and common word misusage, and although he lacks my own talent for the sardonic turning of a phrase, I guess you can't have everything.

I'm going to buy his book as soon as I publish this tiny contribution to the overall quality of the Internet, and when I've finished reading it I'll write a review.  Meantime, I'm encouraging everyone else to go buy a copy.  You won't be disappointed, but if you are then please, please write your comments on the back of a $20 bill and slip it into an envelope along with an SASE and send it along to Peter.  He'll move it right to the top of his things to do list.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Impossible Marriage at The Village Players Theater

I took Mom to see Impossible Marriage, a play written by Beth Henley.  This is a dramatic comedy set in the post civil war South, or more precisely set in the formal gardens of a Southern mansion that escaped General Sherman's efforts on urban renewal.  A family of Southern screwballs objects to the marriage of one relative, a true Georgia Peach to an unsuitable man from somewhere else - South of the Mason-Dixon line, of course.

I'd yawn and give this one two stars out of five if not for two items that stand out like a pair of timber wolves at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show.  Keep reading to get the low down on just why you might want to give this one a try, without spoilers.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Spring Flowers

I enjoy flowers.  I think my attraction has something to do with primitives and bright colors, but perhaps not. My Grandma Bourbon maintained several large flower gardens and had a penchant for roses, especially climbing rose vines.  The other day I was over at Main Lady's house and noted that last year's efforts, courtesy of Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail, are making the yard look very nice.

Good job, ladies.  Here's a tip of my fedora and a hoist of the morning bourbon glass to you for all your hard work.

Continue reading for photos of the flowers in the yard.  Click the photo to enlarge it.

Book Review: Confessions of an Erotic Masseuse

File Size: 271 KB
Publisher: Moonlight Press (April 18, 2013)
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
Language: English

Ever wonder what goes on in a massage parlor?  No?  Well let me tell you, you don't know what you're missing.  Keep reading to find out why a man with my discriminating taste would recommend this to any adult who either has a relationship or is contemplating getting involved.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Question for an Outdoorsman

Anyone who is either an Boy Scout with the Wilderness Survival merit badge or anyone who has practical experience in at least one of the following areas: woodcraft, botany, arboriculture, floristics or dendrology, please take a look at the following pictures and tell me if this is poison ivy or not.

The rest of you have another drink and stop thinking about practical jokes.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Restaurant Review: Bar 145°

Bar 145°
5305 Monroe Street; Toledo, OH 43623
(419) 593-0073
Regular Hours: 11:30am - 2:00am
Kitchen Hours: Mon - Thurs 11:30 - 10:00; Fri - Sat 11:30-11:00
Sun 10:00 - 9:00
Happy Hour: Mon - Fri 1:45 - 6:00

Having a preference for bourbon and wanting lunch in the very worst way, I stopped in at Bar 145° the other day in the hope of satisfying my appetites.  I've eaten there several times, and so decided to review the place.  Here's what to expect and why you might want to reconsider your options.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Gang War Heats Up

The gang war is heating up and The Blade is making the most of it.  Here's a quick look at the latest news from the Toledo Blade: Mayor calls Blade series ‘irresponsible’
Toledo Mayor Bell: Toledo does not have a gang problem...
Toledo Police Chief Diggs: Most of our problems are gangs...
Real good, guys.  Are these two actually on speaking terms?

Monday, April 29, 2013

Gang Map of Toledo

Toledo, OH.  When the current mayor of Toledo tossed the previous baby kisser into the gutter and remodeled the penthouse at One Government Center he promised to run a transparent government.  Given that I live next door in Sylvania Township I don't have a dog in this fight, but a recent tempest in this abandoned monument to greed, corruption and incompetence have distracted me from my regular duties of personal lawn growth quality care manager.

Bluntly, the local bird cage liner demanded that Toledo Chief of Police Derrick Diggs turn over a map of gang territories.  Chief Diggs declined to do so, and the flag dropped.  Keep reading to find out why both sides of this debate are behaving like idiots.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Weekend Road Trip - 4/6/2013

I've been writing about my weekend in Columbus and will finish up by writing about our dinner out and several other oddities.

Saturday night we went out to Barley's Ale House, which I've written about before in Barley's Ale House No. 2 and here, in Robert Burns Dinner in Review.  Keep reading as it amuses you to do so.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Columbus Gun Show 4/6/2013

I spent last weekend at Big Mike's place in Columbus.  While enjoying the excellent hospitality, we decided to attend the local gun show and see what might be for sale and needing a new home.  Moreover, Big Mike was on a mission.  Here's what we found.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Sporting Clays at Black Wing

I haven't been down to visit Big Mike lately, so when he proposed a weekend of shooting, drinking and other enjoyable pursuits I accepted his offer with enthusiasm.  As usual, Big Mike's hospitality is first rate.

The drive South to Columbus, Ohio was nothing if not boring for most of the trip, then exciting as soon as I hit I-270 and the Columbus traffic.  Let me be perfectly clear about this.  Any Columbus police officer who feels like writing a few traffic citations for such minor infractions as speeding, failure to maintain a safe distance (tailgating) and driving without due regard for safety need only spend five minutes patrolling I-270.  I don't know how long it takes to write a traffic citation, but I'm certain that an entire eight hour shift could be dedicated to pulling over the cretinous, inconsiderate, maladriot drivers that are making I-270 hazardous to everyone's health, including their own.

By Divine grace I arrived without incident Friday afternoon, and we took off for Black Wing intent on breaking a few clays.  I haven't been to Black Wing in a while, and they've changed their sporting clays course around a little. 

Big Mike and I played 50 birds, and I finally discovered just what was wrong with my game.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Restaurant News: The Hungry I

The Hungry I closed down.  There were several problems with The Hungry I, but the chief reason for closing was money and a lack thereof in the till.  I've been patronizing The Hungry I in spite of the problems I found inside, and while I'm still glad I did and I wouldn't do anything differently, Main Lady and I went to The Hungry I for the dancing and nothing else.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Donglegate Refuted

Practically everyone (even me) has heard something about donglegate by now.  For those of you who haven't sobered up enough in the past week or so to read the Internet news, I'll give you a quick rehash, after which I'll proceed to my very own personal rant.

Caution: Adult language and themes ahead.  Click at your own risk.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Wildlife in the Front Yard

I've always enjoyed the wildlife that we attract.  Mom puts out food in squirrel proof bird feeders, and then because she wanted to attract deer she started putting out corn - which the squirrels find to be quite tasty.  When a hawk showed up in the vicinity of the bird feeder, I offered to chase him off with a shotgun, but Mom wouldn't hear of it.

"They have to eat too, Jack.  After all, I never shot you for eating, did I?"

No, but when I turned 12 Dad installed a lock on the liquor cabinet and made a big deal out of it.  I guess he thought I was stealing his liquor.  I wasn't.  I was stealing Grandma Bourbon's liquor.

Anyway, I counted 14 squirrels at the corn the other day.  Word seems to get around and more squirrels show up all the time, and I fully expect that given the moral turpitude of the average squirrel, we should have a bumper crop by August.

Yesterday we had a brand new visitor, attracted by the squirrel population.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Another Toledo Landmark Passes Away

Sometime back I wrote about the old Yoko Health Spa out on Airport Highway.  You can read all about it in The Passing of a Toledo Landmark, but the long and short of it is that a little house of pleasure ill repute got bulldozed, and I'm sure the religiously righteous had a field day singing the Hallelujah Chorus while thumping their Bibles and praying for the souls of the well and truly damned who used to frequent that unholy establishment of sacrilegious joy.  The godforsaken truth is that the old Yoko spa had been there since Hector was a pup, and I'm sure that if the place was all that Pastor Pissfire Pallbox inculcated in his last sermon, the local constabulary would have closed it down years ago.  They didn't.
Now I've got some brand new news.  It's happened again, and another Toledo landmark has bit the dust.  Keep reading for the low down.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Latest News 3-9-2013

I haven't felt much like writing.  I'm still somewhat depressed and I think I may be coming down with a cold, which I really do not need just now.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

R.I.P. Excellent Rachmaninoff

On Friday, February 22, 2013 at 6:30 PM Excellent Rachmaninoff was euthanized.  In attendance were Main Lady, Flopsy, Mopsy and me, Mad Jack.  Rocky passed away very peacefully while lying on Mopsy's lap.  He is missed by all of us.

Rocky 3/17/2011

The short of it is that Rocky stopped eating.  He'd drink his water, but he would often throw it back up again.  We gave him medication for nausea, so he didn't get dehydrated.  He just wouldn't eat.  On Friday Rocky had become too weak and disoriented to walk, so I had to carry him into the veterinarian's office.

I've written about Rachmaninoff in several places. You can read about how we found him here: Doggie in the Window. I miss him terribly.

The only downside to owning a dog is that you'll very likely outlive them.

Thursday, January 24, 2013


I'm supposed to be doing a few productive things right now, and I'm having problems.  Writer's block, for one.  A desire to have a quick snort, for another.  Tell me, why are mothers so hard to raise?

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Fox on the Fairway at the Toledo Rep

Last Saturday night we went to see The Fox on the Fairway at the The Toledo Repertoire Theatre (16 10th St.; Toledo, OH 43604; (419) 243-9277).  I've always enjoyed live theater much more than film, to the point that even a poorly produced play is more enjoyable than a five star film.

Here is where I hear some theater company saying, "If only there were a few hundred thousand more like you, Mad Jack."  Sure thing, Virginia, and if there were the tickets in the front row at The Rep would be two-and-a-half bills each if you could get them, which you couldn't because the politburo fat heads would threaten the theater with building and fire inspections unless the city council and their inbred friends got the first five rows all to themselves on opening night.

Okay, I'm finished digressing.  Keep reading to learn my considered opinion about foxes, fairways and the latest play.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Martin Luther King Day (2013)

Happy Martin Luther King Day to everyone.  I decided to write a little about Dr. King because I was alive and well during the civil rights era (power to the people! right on!!) and mention a few odd facts guaranteed to drive every Moonbat within five miles into a watermelon dance.  Keep surfing if you have a thin skin.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Catch Up Time

Going back to Thanksgiving of 2012, here are a few highlights I've been too busy to write about.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

R.I.P. Centenarian

Last Friday the medical experts who have been involved with Centenarian since October of 2011 predicted that she would be on the wrong side of the lawn by Monday.  I have a good deal more faith in the weatherman than I do these witchdoctors.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year 2013!

This is the obligatory Happy New Year post.  So.

Happy New Year.