Tuesday, July 18, 2017

An Interlude, or Reminessing about the Bad Old Days in 1957

I graduated in 1970 and a half, mainly because the school system was sick and tired of me and most of officialdom hoped that I'd get drafted and sent to Vietnam, where I'd get shot and killed, or blown up by an anti-personnel mine, or burned alive, or something.  Sadly for them, none of that happened.

I was forced to enroll in Kindergarten, although it wasn't mandatory.  Dad set the tempo by stating that he never had to go to Kindergarten, and Mom explained that they didn't have Kindergarten back then, and that it was a good idea, and I'd have fun there.  When I objected, I was told I didn't have any choice in the matter.

In Kindergarten, I had Mrs. Carol Ulganer (sp?). We were instructed to call her Miss Carol, her last name being a little hard on the tongue. I don't think she really liked children all that much and she was given to petty fits of temper. She, like most teachers during this time, enjoyed ridiculing individual students for infractions of her mercurial code of conduct or for poor performance.

And so one day...

Miss Carol: Alright people, it's nap time!
Me: I'm not sleepy.
Best Friend Terry: I'm not either.
Dumb Kid Lial: I ain't dunna sweep.
Me: Let's play army sniper! Crawl around and shoot people.
Terry: Yeah!
Lial: Dah!
So we massacred half the class and received several stern warnings from Miss Carol, who refused to succumb to my very best head shots.

Miss Carol: Lial, I told you to stop that.  What are you doing under there, anyway?
Lial: Ine tillin' Taffy (I'm killing Cathy) bu' thee (unintelligible, the kid had a real speech defect).
Miss Carol, frowning: What did you say Lial?
Me, trying to be helpful: He said that he's killing Cathy, but she won't stay dead.  He says that's cheating.
Class breaks up.  I got sent to the corner (oh horrors!), Lial got sent to the other corner, and we missed circle time and playing Jack in the Box.  What a tragedy.  I spent the time cleaning my rifle.


Bob G. said...

Mad Jack:
---I knew there was a reason I REALLY enjoyed your take on things...we graduated from HS the SAME YEAR!
(still have my school jacket and diploma to prove it...lol).
It has to be a like minds things.
---I did skip kindergarten...wasn't mandatory back then (unlike signing up for the draft when you got old enough).
---Sent to the corner? They didn't have "cloak rooms" at your school?
(great way to get some easy lunch money...not that "I" ever did anything like that...bwahahahah...)
Then again, that stuff took place in a more "formal" setting - aka FIRST grade. No sniping allowed.

Good story.

Stay safe (and keep the rifle handy) out there.

CWMartin said...

In Kindergarten I was usually busy trying to figure out which girl I could ask to tie my shoes for me with the least embarrassment.

Old NFO said...

Never had the 'pleasure' of kindergarten... :-) But we did that kind of stuff at recess!

Glen Filthie said...

I just dumped $1800 on a Trijicon for my M1A. I was one of those stupid kids you had a bad influence on Jack. You should be ashamed of yourself.

This is all your fault, that's my story and I'm stickin to it.