Thursday, March 21, 2019

Doctor Drill

About a week ago I was reminded by a politely enthusiastic medical technician or clerical assistant that my next appointment with Doctor Drill was in three days.  Purpose: Keep Doctor Drill's woman in high heels.

I like Doctor Drill, even if he is some kind of Oriental and therefore inscrutable - I can never tell what he's thinking.  While he's good at his work, I always just wonder a little bit about the enjoyment factor going on.

Drill employs a black brother-sister team that works the desk,  and English is either a third or fourth language for them.  Moreover, wherever they came from, they've been taught not to speak up so that high mileage antique white men can hear them and understand what they're trying to say.

Drill had a nice lady with big tits clean my grill.  Then he took a look - at my chops.  Tsk-tsk, here's the deal, straight from the hip.  Today's fun 'n games are going to set you back a bill and a quarter.  You got four cavities that have to be fixed in two weeks at the outside.  That's going to set you back five bills.

That's right.  Five Benjamins to put me right.  Plus, since I'm phobic, I have to get all screwed up on Xanax before I hit the chair, the alternative having Dr. Drill drop me with a tranquilizer rifle on my way across the parking lot, which is what my old dentist used to do.  He was a good shot and I think he used to cut my rate because of the fun factor.

Pow! Thud! .... Smack!

"Got him!  Nailed him making a break for his car at the far end of the building."

"Oh, well shot sir!  Well shot!"

"That's fine, Thedly.  Don't lay it on too think.  Nurse Bambi?  You and Star get the stretcher and get him into the chair.  Get the Novocaine into him and the gas mask on him.  I'll come out and get started while he's still happy.  And hey - hey!.  Do not forget to tie the blue ribbon where it belongs."

Yeah, those were the good old days, and last week is now this week.  I'm back from Doctor Drill, five bills lighter, and my chops is full of Novocaine, and my head is full of Xanax.  I'm having a milk shake for lunch.

Wake me in time for happy hour.



CWMartin said...

Shoot, wouldn't be cheaper to say, "Pull the bastards and gimme dentures"?

Mad Jack said...

In a word, no. No, it would not be cheaper.