Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Restaurant Review: The Grass Skirt Tiki Room

Grass Skirt Tiki Room

Grass Skirt Tiki Room
105 N Grant Ave. Columbus, OH 43215
(At the corner of Long and Grant)
(614) 429-3650
Grass Skirt Tiki Room
Grass Skirt Email

Mon: 11am – 10pm
Tue–Thr: 11am – 11pm
Fri-Sat: 11am – 12am

Tiki Room Décor

Last Saturday (6/15/2019), I, Big Mike, and California Dave had dinner at The Grass Skirt Tiki Room.  Being in pain, I had a Pain Killer, a Tiki Room drink that guaranteed to improve you, your attitude, and everything around you.  Lacking my refined taste in Tiki drinks, my compatriots had Navy Grog.  Well, Big Mike was driving and California Dave was on some kind of antihistamine decongestants, so they decided to drink lightly.

We, all of us, have been here several times before, and the Grass Skirt has been our default choice when we feel like a strong drink and a light meal.  The ambience is quiet, with Martin Denny playing in the background, and there's an outdoor patio which is attractive. 

I'll give the food at the Grass Skirt three stars, but it can go to four depending on what you order.  I can vouch for the coconut shrimp and the best coast quesadilla as excellent appetizers.  If you aren't all that hungry, you can easily make a meal of this as the portions are generous.  For dinner, anything with the Jamaican jerk chicken in it is good, as are the crab cakes.  Actually, I think the crab cakes are a little better than you'll find in most restaurants in Columbus, but that's just my opinion.  We had the jerk chicken tacos, which made for an excellent meal.

Pain Killer and Two Navy Grog

The Grass Skirt is a Tiki bar.  Don't order the beer, as you can get that anywhere.  Cocktails here are strong, and consist of a good selection of traditional Tiki bar cocktails, including one or two dry ice production numbers. I can recommend the Pain Killer, Navy Grog, and the Mai Tai as being well above average.

The service is good, and is reliable.  Our poor waitress had been working seven days straight, twelve hours a day, but she was attentive to us.  I'd say that the place is a bit understaffed.

Sadly, what started out as a nice, relaxing dinner was ruined.

The calamity of the Grass Skirt, and the reason I may not be back is the drunken crowd of twenty-something women who dropped in like a plague of squealing, screaming pigs headed for the sausage factory, and the refusal of the management to tell them to quiet down - which they could have done.  As we left, we found the source of the problem.

Pedal Wagon
I suppose if you're barely legal drinking age and have a few bucks to burn, the Pedal Wagon sounds like a good time.  People get on the damned thing and go beerily peddling around town, stopping here and there to have a drink and make their presence know to everyone, before continuing on their way.  The noise abates when they have to go uphill, or when one of the cute little lovelies has a bit too much party time! and hurls.  We kind of hope the wagon stops in time to let her off so she can hurl into the gutter, but I'm betting that's not always the case.  Of course, frat boys never do this kind of thing, being experienced drinkers and all... except when they do, and end up lying in the gutter waiting for the meat wagon to arrive and treat them for alcohol poisoning.  We had two of these show up at the same time.

As I said before, the Grass Skirt has a nice ambience about it.  Martin Denny plays in the background, the lighting is subdued, and the acoustics are good.  When you add drunken men, the noise level doubles.  Conversation is possible, but you have to listen.  When drunk women get involved, the noise level squares.  Conversation becomes impossible, you can't hear your server and she can't hear you.  Instead of a quiet, refined dining room, you suddenly find yourself in the primate house at feeding time.  Then three of the females let fly with the drunken mating call - WHOOOOOO!

About half our evening was ruined, and the management could not possibly care less.

I think it's going to be a long while before we ever return to the Grass Skirt.

In summary:
  • Ambiance: 2, usually an 8
  • Service: 5, usually a 7
  • Food: 7, drinks 9
Overall rating: 6, complete with drunken women.


CWMartin said...

Just chalk it up to bad timing. Off to listen to some Quiet Village, as my Mom taught me to appreciate.

Old NFO said...

Yep, timing is everything... Still sounds like a decent place, and worth the effort.

Glen Filthie said...

I have never been to a Tiki bar. You'd probably never get me out of that place.

Mad Jack said...

You guys are probably right. When the howler monkeys are absent, the place has a great ambience and is conducive to a nice, leisurely meal with Tiki cocktails before, during, and after. People just don't want to leave.

Getting Glen Filthie out of the place presumes he'd get into the place somehow... maybe he could be smuggled in with the elite cadre of female howler monkeys. Or something.

Don't worry Glen. We'll get you in, then give you a nice pain killer or a zombie - along with a ride back to your hotel. :)

truenorth said...

Our local Tiki restaurant, the Omni Hut, closed about 6 months ago after a run of abour 50 years (?)
The Misses was able to attend their going away sale and bought some special decorations to remember the place by.
You are lucky to have a local Tiki Room. Treat it well, they don't last forever.....