Irregular readers may remember that I have a brother, Shotgun Bob, who is married to The Girl. They have one son, Albert, who is a natural born outdoorsman. A couple years back, Albert got his first deer and dressed it out himself (under the supervision of someone who knew how).
'Twas I who bought Albert The Dangerous Book for Boys, and he went through the whole thing including the construction of a small boat. Shotgun Bob supported Albert's efforts financially and with interminable long-suffering, as the occasional mistake was made due to overconfidence or overenthusiastic behavior, which often resulted in damages to property belonging to the aforementioned parental unit. I think the worst of it was some years back when Albert was given an ice scraper and sent outside to remove the ice coating the windows of Shotgun Bob's primary vehicle prior to the breadwinner's drive to the office. Albert reasoned that if removing a little ice was a good thing, removing all of it would be even better. I explained that most of the scratches could be buffed out, but issued a caution about the type of buffing compound used and how the electric buffer would be most effective.
Anyway...
Albert got a deer this year. A nice spike ventured too close to the blind, and that was that. Albert field dressed his deer, then hauled it home. However, no good deed going unpunished or something, because it seems that the Wisconsin DNR has issued some kind of new ruling about chronic wasting disease (CWD), and now insists that if you process (i.e. butcher) a deer carcass you must test it for CWD - which costs money, takes time, and there aren't any testing facilities nearby.
The result? No one is processing deer. Good job, DNR.
Now mind you, so far as anyone knows for a stone cold fact, there is no evidence that CWD can spread to human beings by any means. Of course, if you go down to the local sportsman's watering hole and actually say that, you'll get an argument started, complete with anecdotes about old timer's who cashed in their chips 70 years ago, and we all know that old Charlie didn't die of sclerosis of the liver, he really died of CWD, because the gov'ment... and on and on and on, until some idiot threatens to punch some other genius's lights out for being a fathead.
Right. So about the time Albert is eyeing Shotgun Bob's hunting knife, in walks Mister Know-It-All. The man is distantly related to The Girl, and is married to Playboy-Ten (although I don't know what she sees in him - I even like the guy, but the crap he pulls makes me look like a good catch), and currently makes his living as a butcher. Well, whattaya know?
So Mister Know-It-All (M-KIA) gets out his edged weapons and shows Albert how to process the deer. Mind you, Albert does all the work. The young man is learning, and by processing the deer himself saved $100 and change, and provided his family with a freezer full of venison. Now they need a grinder and a few pounds of pork or beef so as to make hamburger and sausage. Yeah, M-KIA showed Albert how to make sausage.
This is pretty much a win-win situation, unless you count the deer. I personally think of the deer as freezer filler, but that's just me.
You'd shoot a little deer? Bambi? How could you?
Well, it isn't all that hard. I've got a 6.5 x 55 Swiss, and even though the glass isn't all that good I can get a two inch group at 100 yards. So, when you see the deer...
And she flounced off in a huff. Men! They drink, they scratch, they fart, and they kill helpless little animals for fun. And - they have penises! Ick!
I'm going to let this dog alone, because what she said does not in any way jibe with her behavior the previous evening.
I'm proud of Albert. He's learning, and he's show real initiative. Anyone can hunt a deer and maybe bag one, but field dressing is real work, and processing the deer is not an easy job. He got the deer, and he did all the work.
Good job, young man.
3 comments:
All I'll say is, I could never kill a deer, I could never clean a deer. But I can darn sure eat it! Carry on.
Job well done!
CW: You could if you were hungry enough. You get hungry, you'll work for it.
Ed: Thanks! Albert is learning online these days, and he likes it much better than being in class. For one thing, the teacher is right there and must answer your questions. For another, your parents can sit with you and see just what is going on in High School. Prior to this, watching a class in session was forbidden. The final item is that the teachers tend to work just a little harder as they never know who might be watching. Albert lives in a small town where everyone knows everything about everybody. Nice, huh? He's getting A's and B's.
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