Cost of an Illness

I'm sick.  I fell like six feet of worn out carpet.  And no, I don't think that it's the C word.

I tried for an appointment with my favorite witch doctor, and was asked if I'd be satisfied with a telephone visit.  Sure, why not?

At the appointed hour Dr. Muay calls me and tells me I sound sick.  Well, really now.  I bite off a somewhat pithy rejoinder (after all, Dr. Muay is actually a good sort, and he's trying to help me) and tell him what's wrong, which is mainly a sore throat which showed up the day after I had my root canal.

Anyone got $1,500 they don't need or want?  If so, send it to me.  Note that I'm not bothering to list my mailing address - I know you bums too well.

Along with the sore throat I'm having trouble swallowing.  When I try and eat something, a portion of the thoroughly masticated content gets diverted into my nasal cavity, where it resides until I choke it out and down the hatch.  Try that with BW3 hot wings and see what happens.  By the time I spoke with Dr. Muay, I was on a liquid only diet.  This isn't as bad as it seems, as I have protein powder, a stick blender, and the ingredients for a milkshake.

But I still can't swallow anything remotely solid.  Added to that is the fact that I'm one of those people with a heightened gag reflex (one reason I'd make a lousy faggot) and I have a great deal of trouble taking pills.  Part of this is mental - I have a foreign substance in my mouth that isn't food and should not be taken internally - and part physical (gag reflex).

Dr. Muay nixes the C Amoxicillin 500 MG tablets that my endodontist prescribed, and calls in a prescription for Amoxicillin and Clavulanate Potassium Tablets, USP, 875mg / 125mg.  My drug dispensary of choice got busted last week, so I use my alternate: Walgreens.  I give it an hour, and Walgreens Pharmacy admits to having my prescription ready.  Well, hot damn.

Now keep in mind that I have trouble taking pills anyway, and right now it's impossible for me to reliably swallow anything except a liquid.  So I pick it up.  And...

 

Is This a Pill or a Suppository?

I tried one anyway - hey, I have to get well, right? - and damned near choked to death.

I call Dr. Muay back and get his nurse / receptionist.  The joint's closed for the day, and Dr. Muay can't be reached.  I explain my problem, and Ms. Helpful tells me that breaking the pill up or grinding it into a powder is not a good idea; in fact, it's a singularly bad idea.  She then suggests that I get the same prescription in a liquid form, as that would fix everything.  Good deal, and she'll get it called in right away.

Now the fun starts.

Several calls to the pharmacy later, I'm told that my pharmacy has to order this prescription as they don't have it in stock.  No, that's not okay.  The pharmacy informs me that they'll see if another Walgreen's has it in stock and call me back.  Which they do.

Snake eyes.  Crapped out again.

One of my circuit breakers pops, but I restrain myself.  This is not her fault - but, "You are a national pharmaceutical chain.  We're in Columbus, the capital city of Ohio.  If this concoction could be found anywhere, it would be here.  Ergo, what gives?"

Well, funny thing, as it turns out not many pharmacies will carry this one in stock.  One reason, and she's just guessing here, is that my insurance (Medicare) won't cover it.

"Okay, so what's my out of pocket cost?"

"Four thousand.  If this product can be found, your out of pocket cost will be four thousand ($4,000) dead presidents.  Four grand."

Long silence.  I choose my next words carefully.

"This is ridiculous.  I don't have four grand just laying around waiting for something like this.  What am I supposed to do?  Stay sick?"

"Why don't you crush it and try it with applesauce," says the nameless pharmacist.

"Mainly because Dr. Muay's office told me not to do that, that crushing it was a bad idea and generally forbidden," I say.

"You can crush this.  Let me check... I'd hate to think six years of education just went down the tubes," she sounds a bit miffed.  I can understand that.  She comes back with an affirmative that the medication can be crushed and eaten.

I get a light-bulb over my head.  When I called Dr. Muay's office, I was talking to a dumb skirt answering the phone.  I now have a real pharmacist, who's been to school and stuff.

I thank her profusely and hang up.  I use a chef's knife to split the pill into parts, then eat the parts in conjunction with a bing cherry (prunus avium), and everything goes down smoothly.  And the cost?  Medicare, bless their black little hearts, picks up most of the cost for this one.  I think my out of pocket three dollars and seventy cents ($3.70), and the worst it could get is about $25.

Actual Cost

My point is that charging four grand for a substance that should only cost around $30 is profiteering.  I'd just like to know who the actual fuck is raking it in on this one.

And, by the way, the sore throat got better and in three days it was gone.  Today it's back with a vengeance, and no, I did not stop taking my medication once I felt better.