Monday, February 6, 2023

When the Balloon Goes Up

 Unless you've been dead drunk the past week or so, you've heard all about the Chinese balloon that crossed the continental United States.  After a good deal of meaningless meetings during which one bloviating baby-kisser after another tried to make himself heard above the roar, the U.S. finally shot the damned thing down.

Everyone has an opinion, and I'm no exception.  Keep reading as it amuses you to do so.

From the cat box liner:

Multiple fighter and refueling aircraft were involved in the mission, but only one -- an F-22 fighter jet from Langley Air Force Base in Virginia -- took the shot at 2:39 p.m. (1939 GMT), using a single AIM-9X supersonic, heat-seeking, air-to-air missile, a senior U.S. military official said.

Multiple fighter jets?  Because those Chinese balloons are inscrutable, and you can never tell what they're thinking, so let's stack the deck.  Then they used a missile instead of a short burst from a Vulcan cannon.

Okay, whatever.  I have no idea what the payload on a weather balloon is like, but I'm guessing that it could hold a container of Wuhan Flu, version 26.  Wouldn't that be nice.

So the Chinese, actually Xi Jinping, who is supreme grand poo-bah of Communist China, claims it was a weather balloon and we over-reacted and destroyed valuable State property.  He probably wants compensation.

My thought is that if it really was a weather balloon, why didn't he call Jittery Joe and tell him it was coming?  I can just imagine that call...

He-roe Joe, whattaya know?  Ha-ha-ha, datta Chinee joke.  Yeah, risten, it me Shee flom China... no, not china prate in dish room, China country.  Big prace, lotta lice... No, not lice bug, lice lice...  Rook Joe, we gottee ploblem, you sabbee?  We gotta bahroon ah' it going your way.

No problem.  It's a weather balloon, it's a little off track, so in the interests of being a good neighbor and all, we'll retrieve it for you.  Snag it and send it back to you via that Boeing Dreamlifter.

And if that isn't to Xi Jinping's liking, it's probably because the thing is carrying something he'd rather we didn't know about, such as a nuclear device, or a load of Anthrax, or some other biological weapon that it's quietly spreading everywhere.

Me, I think this is likely a test run.  If the chinks want to see what happens in the U.S. during an event like this, a test run is the way to do it.  Now they know for certain sure that our government and military are overfilled with incompetent retards who are incapable of handling a balloon hauling a cargo of digital cameras and a transmitter.

Oh yeah, I'm proud to be an American.

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