Monday, April 9, 2012

My Life: Communication

I feel that accurate communication is important in most relationships, and by this I'm referring to people other than the mental midgets and drunks who cut me off in traffic and to whom I express my displeasure.  Main Lady is enthusiastically agreeable about this, and I try my best to be supportive of her position.  So when she rattles on and on about one thing and another, instead of instinctively zoning out and giving a non-committal grunt whenever I detect an expectant pause I do my best to follow along.  The other day I decided I'd had enough of following and wanted to lead.  I ended up pissing her off.

This is not my fault.  The real blame lies with Main Lady's neighbor, Johan Nagel-Pfünder.

I was out walking Excellent Rachmaninoff the other night and decided to take a few night photos, some of which turned out pretty well.  I put a copy of my memory card on Main Lady's laptop, deleted the photos of the hottie across the street giving her epidermis an air bath in the back yard, and started the slide show.

"What's this?"  Main Lady wanted to know.

"I found a hummingbird.  See?"

"How did you manage to find him?"

I am somewhat puzzled by this question, but I'm determined to do my part.

"They glow in the dark.  See?"

"They do?  I never knew that!"

"Oh, sure they do.  See?"

 "How many did you find?"

Somehow I believe I'm trailing badly, but I brandish my machete and hack a path through the jungles of Venus.

"Just one... it changes colors."

"Changes colors?  How?"

"Ah, well, you see it's solar powered.  It sits in the sunlight all day and charges up a small battery via a solar cell, then... what's the matter?"

"I thought you meant a real humming bird."  Main Lady looks a little stormy.

"Oh no, no, of course not.  I mean, how would a real hummingbird glow in the dark?  Why would you think such a thing?"  I stop before I say anything else, which is likely the smartest thing I'll do this week.

"So where did the hummingbird come from?"

"Your neighbors put it out there in the side yard, and I found it while I was walking the dog."

Solar Powered Hummingbird
It seems that Main Lady's neighbors, Johan and Fischweib Nagel-Pfünder, have traded in their pink plastic flamingo for this solar powered hummingbird which glows in the dark.

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