A few laughs

I haven't had much to laugh about lately, but that got fixed today.  Here's a couple funny stories for anyone interested.

The scene: Early happy hour at a bar in Columbus.  A few office types are playing trivial pursuit on the TV.
Q: For 376,000 points, what are you most likely to find in a thesaurus?
a. Words
b. Famous quotes
c. A 1976 Volkswagen

From the rear: "Some guy over 40!"

The scene: Centenarian's house, where Main Lady and Mopsy are waking Centenarian up for lunch.
Centenarian: "Oh, I'm not awake yet."
Main Lady: "Were you having a dream?"
C: "Yes, I was having a lovely dream."
ML: "What was it about?"
C: "There was a very handsome young man on a golden horse..."
ML: "There was?  What was he doing?"
C: "You woke me up before he could get into bed with me."

The scene: Centenarian's house, where Main Lady is in the kitchen and two nurses are caring for Centenarian.
Nurse 1: Centenarian is speaking Swedish and we can't understand her.
Main Lady: Tell her to speak English.
Nurse 2: She won't.  Can you come in and translate?
So Main Lady drops what she's doing and hurries in.
Main Lady: What is it Mother?
Centenarian: Dollah.  Dollah.
Main Lady: Mother, I don't know that word.  Say it in English.
Centenarian, weakly: Dollah.  Dollah.
So Main Lady finds the Swedish dictionary and finds the word, which mean descend or something of the sort.  Main Lady returns to Centenarian.
Main Lady, in Swedish: What does 'dollah' mean?
Centenarian: Dollah.  Like four quarters.