Thursday, September 25, 2014

Cancer and Rock Bottom

Last night, Wednesday, I hit rock bottom.  My digestive tract was malfunctioning in ways I couldn't believe were possible.  Nausea came in waves, accentuated by a spike in my fever.  I was so miserable I wanted to die.  Why should I live through this?  I couldn't come up with a good reason, but the effort of assembling myself, my pistol and a conveniently private place where my remains would be guaranteed to be discovered by the authorities was just too much effort.  So here I am.

The only good thing that happened last night was that when I phoned the doctor on call, I initially was referred to Doctor CrazyIndia whom I've encountered before and who speaks English about as well as I play the clavichord.  I asked the operator if she had anyone else, and she told me if I waited until 9:00 pm I could speak with Dr. Genius, who happens to be my new chemo oncologist.  His moniker reflects his position; he really is a genius, is businesslike, speaks with a slight European accent of some sort and has a dry sense of humor.  I like the man.

So at 9:15 I spoke with Dr. Genius, and when he asked how bad I felt on a scale of 1 to 10, I explained I wished I were dead.  He asked a few pertinent questions, then told me I had a choice.  Stay home and he'll see that I get treated tomorrow at the cancer center, or go to the ER.  When I said I was trying to avoid the ER, he told me that was good.  His final instruction was that if my condition worsened, I was to go to the ER anyway.

I spent all day being treated and hydrated, including another dose of chemo therapy.  Dr. Genius stopped round to see me and check on my progress, which I thought was nice of him.

I got the rest of the good news yesterday.  Up until now, things have been easy, as far as side effects go.  Now it was going to get bad, and when I don't believe it will get any worse, it'll get worse.  I'm in week six out of seven weeks, and at the end of treatment I'll have another 3 to 4 weeks of side effects before I start to heal up.  My sense of taste may never come back, and the condition of dry mouth may also be permanent.

And that's the latest.


Roland Hansen said...

Hang in there! It's tough to do so, but once you are through all the treatment with its accompanying side-effects, you will feel so much better. I do not know this from my own experience, but have been at the side of many family and friends who have gone through what you are going through. Please, continue the course. Someday, I hope to see you in person and see a great big smile on your face. The goal to focus upon: Cancer-free!!!

CWMartin said...

I truly pray that was rock-bottom. Nowhere to go but up!

Mad Jack said...

Thanks guys. Today is a little better; we'll see about tomorrow.

Old NFO said...

Thoughts and prayers continue. Hang in there MJ!

trixanne said...

Jack this to shall pass hang in there! Thoughts and prayers are with you!