Last night, Wednesday, I hit rock bottom. My digestive tract was malfunctioning in ways I couldn't believe were possible. Nausea came in waves, accentuated by a spike in my fever. I was so miserable I wanted to die. Why should I live through this? I couldn't come up with a good reason, but the effort of assembling myself, my pistol and a conveniently private place where my remains would be guaranteed to be discovered by the authorities was just too much effort. So here I am.
The only good thing that happened last night was that when I phoned the doctor on call, I initially was referred to Doctor CrazyIndia whom I've encountered before and who speaks English about as well as I play the clavichord. I asked the operator if she had anyone else, and she told me if I waited until 9:00 pm I could speak with Dr. Genius, who happens to be my new chemo oncologist. His moniker reflects his position; he really is a genius, is businesslike, speaks with a slight European accent of some sort and has a dry sense of humor. I like the man.
So at 9:15 I spoke with Dr. Genius, and when he asked how bad I felt on a scale of 1 to 10, I explained I wished I were dead. He asked a few pertinent questions, then told me I had a choice. Stay home and he'll see that I get treated tomorrow at the cancer center, or go to the ER. When I said I was trying to avoid the ER, he told me that was good. His final instruction was that if my condition worsened, I was to go to the ER anyway.
I spent all day being treated and hydrated, including another dose of chemo therapy. Dr. Genius stopped round to see me and check on my progress, which I thought was nice of him.
I got the rest of the good news yesterday. Up until now, things have been easy, as far as side effects go. Now it was going to get bad, and when I don't believe it will get any worse, it'll get worse. I'm in week six out of seven weeks, and at the end of treatment I'll have another 3 to 4 weeks of side effects before I start to heal up. My sense of taste may never come back, and the condition of dry mouth may also be permanent.
And that's the latest.