Another One Bites the Dust

The other day as I was on my way to the liquor store choir practice, I felt that nasty old crick in my back come to trouble me like an ex-wife with an ice pick and a sense of humor.  I cursed the world in general and blood sucking ex-wives in particular, then on impulse I decided that since I was in the neighborhood I'd make a quick stop and get an expert to take care of my back pain.  What I found gave rise to a truly artistic stream of invective.



The old M-1 Acu Center is closed, and after doing a little research, I don't think this is a day trip or a long weekend.  This is more like a permanent vacation.

Closed For Vacation

In some ways I really wasn't surprised.  M-1 was formed when the old Yoko Spa out on Airport Highway finally bit the dust due to the building never being maintained.  I wrote about it in The Passing of a Toledo Landmark.  In the spirit of the true entrepreneur, the owner opened up a brand new massage parlor with all new girls and an all new name.

M-1 ACU Center

The trouble was that she put the new business right out on a main road, just one block down from Frisch's Big Boy, and across the street from some upscale hotels that some jack-off decided to demolish the Showcase Cinema to build.  No matter what anyone can prove, everyone in construction knows exactly what goes on at the M-1, and it ain't mahjong. You want your new multi-million dollar development across the street from M-1?  Yeah, me too, but we're not normal.  That's strike one.

M-1 Parking Lot

Then there's the parking lot.  Now, from a pure business standpoint, the parking lot is great.  It's next door to the Busted Hump Tax Service, meaning that if it isn't April the place will be pretty empty, and it's on Secor Road, which is a main thoroughfare.  The problem is privacy.  You really want the Pastor of your church to be driving by and see your car in that lot?  And then, if your Pastor is a complete blockhead as naive as mine is, have him ask you if your back is alright while you're on your way out of services on a Sunday morning, right with the old ball and chain on your arm and your one-to-three snot noses hanging around to watch the old man fumble the hike and get sacked by the old lady?  Or better yet, have your very own hundred and seventy pounds of marital bliss come driving by, see your car and wonder just what the fuck is going on?  One of her friends is sure to be just bright enough to suggest the place is really a little house of pleasure, and maybe she should start thinking about STDs and divorce lawyers.  Plus, everyone can see the whole neighborhood lining up for a massage, and that doesn't look so good.  So strike two.

Closed

But it was the mayor of Toledo, old Paula Hicks-Hudson (AKA PH²) that brought the jackboots down on M-1.  Now think.  Any woman who uses a hyphenated name is doing so because they are, professionally speaking, a Social Justice Warrior (SJW).  Give them some kind of humanitarian cause and they'll scream bloody murder until you can't hear yourself think.  PH² is big in politics, is big in person, and is the minister of music at holier-than-thou Redeemer Lutheran Church.  You really think she's going to ignore M-1, especially right before an election?  I don't, she didn't, and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if her old man, Freeman Hudson, was an irregular customer at M-1, for which I don't blame him a bit.  Take a solid look at PH² and try to tell me he wasn't.  Hell, the only thing that would prevent him was PH² not letting him out of the house.  That, or he didn't know where the place was.  Strike three.

Last month (October) the cops came in and the girls left in handcuffs.  Last week a moving van (of sorts) showed up and cleaned the place out.  And that, as they say, is that.

Update

I found this advertisement on Toledo Craig's List.  This is the epilogue.

Screen Capture from Craig's List - What a Deal!

The bottom line is pure irony: do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.