Quora Question: How did dancing start?

I subscribed to Quora some years back.  I can't remember why I did this, and I probably didn't know then.  I don't let things like this bother me.

Most questions on Quora are stupid beyond repair; about one in a hundred is worth reading, and that's on a good day.  I'm a little bored today, so when I got this question as asked by some nameless genius, I decided to knock out an answer.  Here we go:

How did dancing start?

Dancing started six million years ago, give or take a hundred thou, when Og broke a bicuspid on his evening meal (Ranga-Tanga Bird on a spit), and in a fit of rage started pounding the food substance with a rock.  Imitating his (we suppose) father for no particularly good reason, his son Foj picked up two sticks and pounded them together, simultaneously inventing the claves and providing a back beat.  Lacking a noisemaker and the wit to use it, Og’s wife Bog jumped to her feet and started hopping around in time to the racket, losing most of her saber tooth tiger skin in the process.  Then when Og’s neighbor Steg offered Bog a clam to lose the rest of the skin, dancing, the strip tease, and the jealous husband were all invented at the same time.

And that's how dancing started.