Sunday, February 17, 2019

Picking on Glen Filthie

The hoople heads are picking on Glen Filthie again.  This all started when Glen walked into last Sunday's show n' tell with his shop class project which he claimed was a camp stove, but from the look of it was either a shoe shine box or an ash tray.  One thing we could all agree on was that no one was foolish enough to ask him to fuel the mystery burner up and torch it off.

Then some idiot sitting in the back of the class opened his fat yap and suggested Glen's corn bread wasn't done in the middle, and that set it off.  Personally, I think it was that M. Silvius that started the whole thing.

So Glen went off Boiling With RAGE, and... go read about it if you're interested in UFOs and close encounters of the worst kind, but I'm told the outcome is that the little green men from outta space have concluded that while life on earth is intelligent, that intelligence is somewhat perverse.  And so we've been interdicted.

Meantime, I have no idea what these hosers think camping is actually all about.  For instance, their idea of a tent and mine bear (bare?) no similarity at all.

This is a modern tent.  Note that the sides aren't made of canvas and that it requires little to no effort to erect.  It's also impervious to inclement weather, having central heating and cooling.

Modern Camping
Here's what the interior looks like.  There's plenty of room for guests and hosting those late night parties that the camp ground owners and forest rangers love so much.

There's also an adult recreation room with a door that can be closed and locked for privacy.

Adult Recreation Room
Finally I'll get to the point of this rag, which is the modern camping stove.  This is what the camp stove is supposed to look like - casual readers may notice a difference between this stove and the IED that Glen is proposing to use, versus the mystery contraptions proposed by his insouciant and somewhat less enlightened detractors.

Modern Stove
And now if you'll excuse me, happy hour is getting closer and I need to run to the liquor store.  Here's how!


Glen Filthie said...

Et tu, Jacques?

You austrolapithicene worms! You miserable miscreants! I’m gonna learn ya all about tents too, whether you like it or not!!!

Stay tooned!!! All a ya’s!!! That’s an order!!!

Mad Jack said...

He means Australopithecinæ, a member of the extinct genus Australopithecus, a small brained, knuckle walking, quasi-biped that occupies a basic building block on the evolutionary ladder eventually leading to the primate equivalent of pack rats, cotton pickers, and terminating at rap stars. Yeah, like that.
The worm reference is figurative.

CWMartin said...

Winner, best reply to a comment, intellectual division...

Mad Jack said...

Thanks CW.

You cretins hear that? Let's have a little more respect around here.

Old NFO said...