Friday, June 26, 2020

We are The Government...

...and We do not take kindly to being fooled with.  Especially this fool, who has found a way to activate the stupid air raid siren that is normally used for testing and tornado pre-warning warnings - if there is such a thing, and I'm living proof that there is.

I found this little gem on a public social media site called Nextdoor.  It's a spin off from F-Book, Blab, Gab, Tik-Toc (whatever the hell that is) and similar sites.  Basically, members are supposed to live in the same neighborhood as other members and swap recipes, news, and talk about the weather and their grandkids - none of whom care, because they never call.

Occasionally a public service pinhead will post an announcement, which starts the inevitable flame war just as soon as a certain individual asks the wrong question in the wrong tone of voice.

Today I found this one:

Franklin County Experiencing Unauthorized Outdoor Warning Siren Activations. (COLUMBUS, OHIO) – Franklin County Emergency Management and Homeland Security (FCEM&HS) would like to inform the public that recently there have been unauthorized activations of several outdoor sirens within the Franklin County Outdoor Warning Siren System.  These activations have occurred over the past two nights in the far northwest section of Franklin County.  The timing of these activations has occurred at approximately midnight and upon notification of the siren sounding, FCEM&HS took immediate action to shut down the activation.  
Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha!

Okay, consulting a map or three, the astute observer will discover that this area is primarily white with money, is quiet, and is just the type to get on the horn to Franklin County to tell them the siren is going off, and are we being invaded by BLM, Antifa, or flying saucer men.

But there's more:
Following a thorough assessment, we believe this is the result of a malicious act initiated by someone who is close to the siren creating a condition to cause it to operate.
Again, Ha! Ha! Ha!
I love it.
So if it isn't the Rooskies, and it isn't the Chinks, Japs, or Eskimos, who could it be? 

There's more, but it's all pointless until they catch the guy.  And it's a guy, trust me.  Women don't think of pulling off pranks like this one.  What I'm wondering is, if it can be done from, say, an SUV just driving around.  Because if that's the case, Upper Arlington will be rudely awakened at midnight by the phantom siren trigger.

The truth is that the guy knows the demographics of Columbus, and knows that no one gives a tinker's damn about the siren going off at midnight when you live next to machine gun alley.  Sirens?  No problem.  We hear 'em all the time.  Ghetto birds cause the populace to rise up and look around.  But sirens?  No.

The worst part about this is that the idiots who run this thing blow it on any occasion.  It's supposed to warn the residents of a tornado, but it doesn't.  They blow the siren, there's no tornado, then they blow it again as an all-clear signal.  Then it goes off again... I counted seven separate siren events one night.  Seven, as in the number between six and eight.  That means that there's a tornado running around out there, probably hiding someplace.  Well, the National Weather Service will catch it and deport it - except Columbus is a Sanctuary City.  Which is truly the main reason I pack my gat everywhere I go.

In other news, I heard from a long-time-ago co-worker today.  He's in MSP, about four blocks from the rioting.  He's okay, but I guess it's worse than the commercial news media lets on.


CWMartin said...

Kids and their toys...

Old NFO said...


Mad Jack said...

Exactly. I see a certain amount of humor in it, but I'm not the one who has to put up with a siren in the middle of the night, nor am I one of the few, the frustrated, who are catching hell from on high because the thrice-damned thing keeps going off.

Glen Filthie said...

When I was a kid it was all the rage to pull the fire alarms. The kids started doing it so often that the county trumped up a special charge to punish the juvies with... and as an adult looking back, I don’t blame them one bit. That’s serious stuff when you panic entire schools with false alarms.

So after a few of the Usual Suspects got written up and flogged, it stopped.... for awhile. Then some buggardly tosspot got smart... and taught the Special Ed students (the tards) to do it. The police and fire chiefs were ripping their hair out by the roots because they couldn’t punish or frighten the tards.

Mad Jack said...

Then some buggardly tosspot got smart... and taught the Special Ed students (the tards) to do it.


On, man... that's a true classic. That's pure entertainment. And once those 'tards start up, they'll keep it up no matter what.

That's rich!