Elections for November 2010

The election's over and now all we have to do is wait for the dust to settle, which may take some time. As is typical of politics in the U.S. of A. the winners are not content with a small victory celebration and a new office (or new carpeting for the old office), but must grind the loser's collective mugs into the lawn. The losers bitterly resent this treatment but don't dare say what they are really thinking, or at least they don't dare say what they're thinking publicly. I've always wondered what goes on behind the scenes of a failed election. Does the campaign manager run off and hide somewhere until the candidate has had a chance to cool off? Is there a thoroughly beneath notice lackey that slips a few Xanax into the candidate's consolatory martini? Or does the staff just pounce on the hapless candidate and duct tape her to the chair until the screaming and threats have stopped?

Then the media gets involved and makes predictions of prosperity beyond measure due to the winners now occupying the office thanks to the wisdom of the voting public, coupled with the decline and final termination of civilization as we should have known it due to the winners now occupying the office thanks to the stupidity and ignorance of the voting public. This kind of reporting used to be difficult, but practice clearly makes for a faster hundred yard dash, clarity be damned.

I only had a few horses in this race. John Kasich (R) managed to beat incumbent Ted Strickland (D) in the race for the Governor's mansion. I wanted Strickland because of his stand on the Second Amendment, but the economy in Ohio is a complete shambles and Ted didn't do much to fix it, so I'm not terribly disappointed that Ted gets a time out while his staff packs up for moving day. Too bad, Ted.

Rich Iott (R) lost to incumbent Marcy Kaptur (D), which is not a big surprise. Kaptur's been around a long time, but that's not why she won this election. It seems that Iott likes to dress up as a Nazi on weekends and re-enact WWII encounters of one sort or another, and this bears looking at a little bit.

When I was but a mere sprout we used to play army. We'd be the Americans and kill imaginary Japs and Krauts by the thousands. We'd kill Hitler several times every afternoon, awarding the designated marksman with various medals made of solid gold. We were the good guys, you see. We won the war and had stories from our fathers to prove it. My best friend's father was an Army Master Sargent and got to drive a tank around and shoot at the enemy. How cool is that? The thing was, none of us wanted to be the Germans (Nazis, Krauts, Bosch or Jerrys) or the Japanese (Japs, Nips or Slanty Eyed Devils). They were the enemy, but it wasn't until much later that I learned what the Nazis actually did that made them so completely despised.

I have no objection to civil war reenactors wearing blue or gray. I could comfortably wear either uniform and win or lose heroically. Likewise I would cheerfully be a redcoat and give the Colonial terrorists a hard time of it. But dress up and pretend to be a Nazi? No. I wouldn't dress like a Nazi any more than I'd put on a bed sheet and a dunce cap and pretend to be a member of the KKK.

The Republicans (AKA the Stupid Party) either didn't know about Iott's noisome hobby or didn't care. In the first instance I contend that any political party too stupid or lazy to conduct a thorough background investigation and discover Iott's proclivities for Nazism desperately needs a change in management, and by that I mean a complete turnover of the top three levels. In the second instance I suggest that the Stupid Party enroll in a few remedial history courses dealing with World War II, said classes to be taught by one or more professors of history that are not concerned with politically correctness, after which time they should decide whether or not they are fit to lead a nation the size of the United States.

The bottom line here is that there are some perfectly legal activities that a political leader shouldn't do, and being a weekend Nazi is one of them. So long, Iott. Fade back into obscurity and trouble us no more.

On a cheerier note, George Sarantou (R) edged out Carol Contrada (D) for Lucas County Commissioner. I'm glad Mr. Sarantou won, but that means the Sylvania Township is stuck with Contrada until the next election when we can vote her out of office. My objection to Contrada is based largely on her support of the merger between the city of Sylvania and Sylvania Township. The merger was defeated by Township voters.

Although I couldn't vote for him, Randy Gardner (R) beat Jackie Brown (D) in the sixth district. Mr. Gardner is an excellent legislator and we need more people like him in office.

Finally (as I have some pressing business to take care of this morning) the Sylvania school levy was defeated, which is a huge relief to me. The school system claims it needs an additional 4.9 mills or the world will end. See you in the afterlife!