Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Gun Blog Meme:Five Firearms

I was surfing, reading and minding my own business when I stumbled across something I couldn't resist that wasn't a pile of naked hotties on a beach down in French Tahiti.  Bayou Renaissance Man tripped over a meme for gun owners courtesy of Robb Allen over at Sharp as a Marble entitled Your Five Most Wanted. The Cajun Scholar decided to run with it, and you can read his efforts at  Bayou Renaissance Man: Oh boy, a gun blog meme!

Never one to rain on a parade involving critters, girls or guns I decided carry the meme right along.  Read on as it amuses you to do so.

The deal is this: if you had unlimited funds but a limit of five firearms you could buy, what would your list look like?  Bayou Renaissance Man wants a cannon (canon?  He's an avid reader...).  Here's my own wish list:

The first two must be shotguns.  I chose the Zoli Z-Sport Bilanx because it's fiendishly expensive, shoots as good as it looks and no one, I mean to say not one single person at the shooting ranges I visit is going to know what the hell it is.  Even after I tell them the make.  I want one in 20 gauge and the second one in 28 gauge.  I'd take the 28 gauge out for upland bird on occasion.

Third on the list is a nice handgun.  I picked the FN Five-seveN in Evil Gun Black with adjustable target sights.  I've shot one of these and the pistol has no recoil, letting you hammer rounds into the bull's eye until your fun meter pegs out and you sweep up the brass.  This would be my primary personal defense handgun - high velocity, no recoil and you can get armor piercing rounds for it.  Plus I could send pictures of it, me and a badly perforated silhouette target to Fienstein, Reid, Schumer and the rest of the Brady Bunch so as to disrupt their sleep.

Next I'd like to get into a little long range shooting, and the best way to do that is with a Jarrett rifle.  So number four on the list is the Jarrett Long Ranger Rifle, mainly because of their guarantee.
The Jarrett Guarantee: Once you've received your Jarrett rifle, you have 30 days to inspect and use the rifle to see if it performs as expected. If you are not pleased, return the rifle for a full refund.
How can you beat something like that?

Last comes the rifle I'd only shoot once.  I want a Holland and Holland Royal double rifle in .700 Nitro Express.  Now some people might think I'm a bit foolish here, but I don't think so.  The argument against such a cannon is that ammunition cost is $100 per shot from the factory and the recoil is around 200 foot pounds, meaning that at my current weight I'm big enough to shoot it. Stop laughing you bums.

Having such a rifle I'd likely take it out to Commander Cody's place in Ft. Pierre, South Dakota where I'd let him display it for a week or two, then I'd take it out to the public rifle range and shoot it in front of every cowboy within a forty mile radius.

Then we'd all go down to Mad Mary's for a steak and a few drinks.

And that's my wish list.

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