Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Extended Election Casualties

Anyone not interested in the trivia of my daily existence can skip this one.  The rest of you, don't say you weren't warned.

Last Tuesday I wrote an arguably cathartic diatribe about Migraine One and my response to her incessant carping about conservatives in general, President Trump specifically, and my own deranged preference for right-wing beliefs and attitudes.  You know, little things like civil rights, real equality, and an end to nutty plans involving compensation for the descendants of slaves in the U.S.  She wouldn't shut up, so I hung up the phone.  That was on Monday.

Tuesday night she called back.  Why do I answer the phone, anyway?  Why?  I'll never know.  Migraine One opens with, "Jack, this is Migraine One.  I need you to do something for me."

I laughed.  I couldn't help myself.  Our last conversation ended with her reading me some version of the Democratic Manifesto with commentary by Pol Pot, and me abruptly hanging up the phone.  Now she needs me to do something for her?  No problem.  She immediately got offended and hung up.

This morning the phone rings around 10:00 AM, which is 7:00 AM in Granolaville.  It's Guess Who.  "Jack, this is Migraine One.  I just called to tell you what a completely reprehensible human being you are, and to inform you that I, Migraine One, am not doing well.  My husband says he wants a divorce.  That's all, you scurrilous, misanthropic, bacchanalian hack."  She hung up the phone without waiting for a reply.

Hm.  All that, huh?

Migraine One has been married for, I don't know, maybe 10 or 15 years.  She's been living apart from the poor sap for the past two years, and he's been supporting her to a large extent.  My real question is, why did he wait so long?

Being on Migraine One's Ten Most Hated list, and probably being near to the top, I'll miss all the drama of the divorce, which is kind of too bad in one way, because things could become very interesting in a twisted, psychotic way, but is kind of beneficial in another way, as skipping the entire crazy town divorce drama will not use up minutes on my cell phone and not suck up time that could be spent drinking peacefully down at the local pub.

Stay tuned for updates, although I think it will be a month or more before I hear anything new.


Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Well when you hear more you will can tell us I have been married for 32 years this year and even though Tim drives me bat shit crazy at times I do still love him

Glen Filthie said...

I stole and plagiarized a bit of this Jack. Hope ya don't mind - if ya do I'll take it down...

Mad Jack said...

Help yourself, Glen. My battle isn't plagiarism; it's obscurity.