Monday, February 21, 2011


I'm being manipulated.

We had a little dusting of snow earlier this month which the weather nit wit referred to as the Groundhog Day Blizzard of 2011. A day or two later we got an additional eight inches of snow that was supposed to be three inches. Last night we got an ice storm. Around four this morning Main Lady woke up for some reason and discovered that at some time in the middle of the night the power had gone out. No surprise there. She woke me up to tell me about it.

"Jack, the power went out."

I try my best to ignore this, as it bodes no good. Besides, the power is now back on as evidenced by the flashing digital clock next to the bed. Main Lady fixes the clock to make it stop flashing and to dim the display.

"Jack, I think I should go over to Mother's house. What if she wakes up and sees everything flashing?"

What if indeed? What if this bed had wings? There is no help for it. My car is blocking the driveway, but I don't think that has much to do with the situation at hand. It's four in the morning and I must get dressed and take Main Lady over to Centenarian's house. Moreover the dog, Excellent Rachmaninoff, sees this as an opportunity for fun and games, and so must go along with us. Even at four in the morning I can see that this isn't your average ice storm. Things are bad and likely to get worse. The dog and I deliver Main Lady to Centenarian's house and return to my nice warm bed, where I snooze until a civilized hour - 9:30 AM. Main Lady has returned and is walking the dog around Lincoln Woods. I go out to join her.

The evergreen trees in the front yard are bent over with the weight of the ice, and they look to me like they're ready to come down.

Most of the trees out front are oak, which is not reassuring to me. Oak trees are strong but they don't bend easily, which is what is needed here. I haven't seen this much ice on the trees in many years.

Blocked Driveway
I called Mom to see if she still had power, which she does. Mom instructed me not to come over because the driveway was a solid sheet of ice and several branches were down. "At least give me time to go out and saw them up." Mom said. I considered just how best to proceed.

"How about leaving the branches alone for the time being, and getting them removed later on?" I know this argument won't work because Mom has never put off for tomorrow anything that could be done today.

"Why? I have a nice little saw and I can just saw them into small pieces. I can't carry the big stuff like I used to do."

All of which is true, but not the point. "What if you slip and fall?"

"Oh, I'll be careful." Mom reassures me. "I can do this."

"Okay, mom? I want you to leave the branches alone until later. If the driveway is impassable and you fall, how will anyone get back to help you?" This makes good sense to me, but Mom still sees it as unreasonable. The logic, however, does not escape her. Mom reluctantly agrees to wait a while and do the branches later on. This gives me time to drive over to Mom's house, swipe the crosscut saw and hide it and saw up the branch that's blocking the drive. Walking is treacherous.

Trees Down
I got rid of the willow branches blocking the drive, and I noted two trees that have fallen into the pasture. These will have to be cut up and the brush disposed of before any horses can be turned out. I'm glad we had the chainsaw serviced earlier this year.

Well, Main Lady did fix me a delicious breakfast this morning, explaining that the breakfast was my reward for getting up at four in the morning. Now, Main Lady is a licensed clinical psychologist, complete with PhD, and I know that one of things she's had to do to get her degree is modify the behavior of lab rats. You do this with food... So I'm just wondering, you see. Just kind of idly speculating, you know, about food, lab rats, breakfast and four in the morning activities that do not involve conjugal relations. Just wondering, is all.


Momma Fargo said...

Beautiful...but oh what a mess..and lots of tree damage. Yuck. Glad you didn't turn into a popcicle while the lights were off.

Mad Jack said...

Yeah, ain't that the truth. What isn't shovel work is chainsaw work. I heard from a friend who's a plumber that his phone is ringing off the hook. With the electricity out the sump pumps won't work, and with all this slop on the ground basements are flooding all over the place. Now I hear that the weather nit wit is predicting more misery in a few days from now. When spring finally hits (I'm thinking July or August) this water will hang around until the ground thaws out.

Misery. That's what this is: Misery. I want a drink.

Older School said...

I must say that those are some beautiful pics, MJ. However, their reasons for being aren't so much.

I listen to all my northern friends complain about the weather this year. I feel their pain and don't regret moving to the south many years ago.

Have a drink and pretend it's summer!

flask said...

you really have a way with a story, dude.

and i was thinking of you the other day while i was having lunch with my pacifist anti-violent moral-argument vegetarian mom and we were laughing about 4th amendment underwear that you can get for air travel and how more and more we're getting on board with the 2d amendment nuts because constitutional rights are constitutional rights; ALLL of them.

sorry about the ice.

you can sent yours to me if you can figure out how.

Mad Jack said...

Older School: I've lived down South and my only complaint was the size and plenitude of the insects, notably the giant cockroach. This was nicely offset by the weather, the ocean and the beach bunnies.

Flask: Thanks for the compliment. I think that the erosion of our civil rights will eventually draw the left and right extremists into the same camp, leaving the apathetic sheep to march in step, double file... off to the abattoir.

Meantime, you are more than welcome to my share of the ice.