'Tis the Season Warning

We're in the midst of the holiday season, and the cops in Columbus are getting serious about this drinking and driving business.  I don't know where the funding came from (MADD? SADD?), but the Columbus Police Department have the checkpoint DUI road blocks up and are running them in full force.

I got bored last night and decided to take a short drive over to the Derby East.  I had a hard cider, then another, and the crowd was getting warmed up.  Then someone bought a round of shots for everyone sitting at the bar, then another round was bought, and I chased it with another hard cider, and... I realized I probably shouldn't be driving.

I left my keys with the bartender, and took the bus home.

I passed a police checkpoint about a block away.  Everyone was being stopped and harassed, and they had a wagon out to haul away the drunks.  There was a line being cuffed and stuffed into the wagon.  But, you know, they just waved the bus right on through.

Merry Christmas!

This is the official Merry Christmas! and Happy New Year! post.  This happens roughly once per year.

To all the people who paused long enough to read this hound, Merry Christmas!  Happy New Year!

To all of you who commented (including that infamous little lamb chop, Baked Brie) here's a hoist of my New Year's Eve champagne glass and a tip of the old fedora to you - thank you for your comments.

Success!

I won't post it, mainly out of an inability to take selfies, but while making my morning coffee I was doing my happy dance.

Mad Jack: 1

Mouse: room temperature (by now)

Invaders - ?, Mad Jack - 0

Zero.  As in null, nada, none, and go piss up a rope.

I got up in the morning and ran the old trap line, and the traps were still set but the bait was gone.

Rant follows.  Read at your own risk.

Invaders!

In the not terribly distant past I had a security team.  Proven in battle, patient in ambush, and congenial in most other respects.  Sadly, they've all retired and gone the way of the passenger pigeon, the dodo bird, and the woolly mammoth.

I have decided to set a trap line.  I have two traps, which is all I could find in my toolz-and-whatnot drawer.

Trap 1

Trap 2

You will note that I belong to the peanut butter bait school.  I hold no brief with trappers that resort to unreliable baits such as bacon grease or cheese.  I got into an argument with one puffball who insisted that a combination of bananas and crushed mothballs made the perfect bait, and as a result of a short series of vituperative remarks concerning his intelligence and probable heritage, I was informed by a nameless moderator that I was addressing a woman (biological female) and therefore should have shown a bit of restraint.

Somewhat suspicious, I demanded proof.  A mistake, as it turned out, as another user posted a photo of a female English Bulldog in the act of defecation, which in turn started a ruckus between the English Bulldog aficionados and the demented supporters of said female.  The dog people pointed out that the English Bull is affectionate, loyal, intelligent, and beautiful in its own way.  The mothball group declared the photo a personal insult and unspeakably cruel to this delicate little snowflake who only wanted to help.  By the time the dust settled, the dog aficionados were naming seconds and asking about time, place, and choice of weapons.  The mothball group was threatening to report everyone to the ACLU, the American Muslims for Palestine, the East Coast SJWs, the Feminazis (not an actual group), and a host of others.  

I deleted my account and advanced to the rear.

Back to the topic at hand, I'm betting on Trap 2, my choice being based on past experience.  It should be pointed out, however, that Trap 1 is a few inches away from the location of the rodent's attack on my foodstuffs, namely an over-ripe banana.  It is now December 20th, 2021 at 4:47 PM.  I'll run the trap line in the morning.

Meantime, place your bets: Trap 1 or Trap 2.