The Old One-Two

"Give him the old one-two!" one guy advised me.

"Kick him in the nuts!" another guy said with enthusiasm.

"Jack?" a tough, experienced school yard fighter addressed me quietly, "This guy ain't tough. Land one right on the end of his nose, and the fight's over."

And that's what I did, and he was right. The nose bled copiously, and the fight was over. I thanked him for his advice, and he just shrugged.

"You helped me out in drafting class, so..."

Well, he was right. I did help him when he needed it.

Somebody just handed me the old one-two.

On August 8, 2025, Uncle Sardonicus cashed in his chips. This wasn't exactly unexpected, but it left behind a mess in some ways and fixed a real problem in others. For instance, 88, his daughter, had planned a European tour and her departure date was the same day that Sardonicus bought the box condo. Then there's Auntie Annie-Fanny, who has bats in her belfry and lives in an assisted living unit with her cat Gotcha!. Since 88 took off for Europe (I can neither spell nor pronounce the country she's in) and will be gone a while, I'm keeping tabs on Auntie Annie-Fanny, which isn't easy since she's a Liberal and I am whatever it is I am.

So there's that. Strike one, the umpire cried.

My brother, Shotgun Bob, is married to The Girl, who came complete with three offspring - two boys and a girl. The oldest bit the big one back in 2010, and no one will tell me the cause of death, but there were things that didn't add up. The middle one, who we'll call Wave, joined the service and was successful, got out, got married, and lives a good life. That brings us to the youngest, who we'll call Jay-Bee. The man has epileptic seizures and had one such at the top of the basement steps, and... the funeral is next week.

Strike two, the umpire cried.

Now then. I've got two more cousins from my mother's side of the family, BigNews and HappyFlute. I tried calling them regarding death in the family, and neither one will answer the phone, or respond to voice mail. What the actual fuck?

So I did the one thing I suppose I should do. I wrote each one a polite, but stiffly formal letter advising them that a family member had passed away, someone who thought enough of them to invite these two and their families into their home for a visit, and who always spoke well of them, and attended the funeral services of their own father when he passed - although I didn't put any of that in. Just a notification of death in the family.

I was sorely tempted to add a little something on the order of, In lieu of flowers or cards, the family requests a generous donation be sent to Mad Jack, general delivery. But I didn't put that in either.

I suppose that's the right thing to do.

There's more, but I've got errands to run and a house to clean.

Thanks for reading.