I Know Why People Shoplift

 I discovered why otherwise normal and law abiding people shoplift, much to my sorrow. Keep reading as it amuses you to do so.

So I'm up in Sylvania, Ohio visiting my brother California Dave, yeah? I lost my favorite reading glasses about a week ago and have been wearing the various emergency back-up cheaters that I find stashed among the flotsam and jetsam of El Dumpo, otherwise known as The Shack. Most of these glasses are usable even if somewhat damaged. Well, I naturally forgot to bring a pair, and the cheaters that I keep in the console of my car have vanished, so I eventually sobered up enough to drive down to the local CVS Pharmacy and get shafted for a new pair.

This whole business wouldn't be worth mentioning if not for something I ate that turned my digestive tract into an industrial level biology experiment. So Pepto Bismol as well as spectacles, and this has to be a quick trip.

Here's what I bought (under duress) at CVS:

• Pepto Bismol: $14.19
• Reading Glasses: $37.99

Since this is the only game within driving distance for me, I just paid the man and resolved never to do business at CVS. I got the invoice and paid it. $52.18, plus tax. Then, out of idle curiosity, I consulted Amazon.

Amazon: Pepto Bismal $11.44 for 24 Fluid Ounces - Delivered

Amazon: Reading Glasses $11.99 for Five Pairs - Delivered

Total from Amazon: $23.43. Delivered.

As I stood there at the cash register the thought occurred to me that I could just walk out with the merchandise. The Sylvania PD aren't going to look for me, even if someone got my license number. All it would do is reveal my address in Columbus, and since the total theft is something less than $1000, I was tempted to just walk out. I didn't, but the price gouging tempted me.

The high prices charged by merchants is, I think, the main reason people shoplift.

Thanks for reading.