Another One Bites the Dust

The other day as I was on my way to the liquor store choir practice, I felt that nasty old crick in my back come to trouble me like an ex-wife with an ice pick and a sense of humor.  I cursed the world in general and blood sucking ex-wives in particular, then on impulse I decided that since I was in the neighborhood I'd make a quick stop and get an expert to take care of my back pain.  What I found gave rise to a truly artistic stream of invective.