The Great Ohio - Michigan War

Back in the bad old days, we're talking 1835 or so, the political cockroaches in Michigan decided they wanted a small section of Ohio; where the city of Toledo is now. The fine, upstanding confidence men running Ohio objected to that on general principles, and so the Ohio–Michigan War got started. Once troops were positioned, Michigan got a chance to see what they were actually fighting about. They packed up and went home.

In 1937 a basketball team was formed in Fort Wayne, Indiana. The team was called the Fort Wayne Zollner Pistons. In typical Hoosier fashion, they couldn't leave well enough alone, so in 1957 the team moved to greasier fields, dropped their old customs and habits like yesterday's fish-wrap, and called themselves the Detroit Pistons.

Now then. Note that the entire State of Michigan started a war with Ohio over ownership of the town of Toledo, which for those of you blessed not to know, is a dead broke gravel pit. Toledo, Ohio is a place where mediocrity is a goal rather than a disparaging comment, while Michigan is the rotted out bottom of the rust bucket; true unadulterated ignorance backed up by interminable, beer swilling belligerence.

I support this observation of belligerence with the Pistons. The Pistons play a home game of basketball, and they lose. What happens? People riot. Property gets destroyed, stores get looted, and the ER fills up with ballistic malfunctions and head injuries.

Then the next week the Pistons play a home game, and they win. What happens? People riot. Property gets destroyed... etc. et al.

What this illustrates is the statewide pugnacity of Michigan and the alcoholic aggression of Ohio. The great Ohio vs. Michigan football game is no exception.

Big Ten Fines Michigan, Ohio State $100k Each for Postgame Brawl

From the article:

“The Big Ten Conference has determined that the actions of both teams following the Michigan-Ohio State football game on Saturday, November 30, 2024, violated the Big Ten Sportsmanship Policy,” the conference said in a press release.

Well, no shit.

Following Michigan’s 13-10 victory, a Wolverines player attempted to plant a Michigan banner on the Buckeyes logo at midfield in Ohio Stadium, which led to pushing and shoving and eventually punches being thrown by members of both teams. Ohio State defensive end Jack Sawyer was seen snatching the flag and throwing it away.

Which is not just waving a red cape at a tired bull. The typical bull is interested in two things in life.  One is food.

It took several minutes for stadium security and police to separate the two teams, with pepper spray being deployed to get the situation under control, according to multiple media reports. The television broadcast showed players wiping their eyes and coughing in the aftermath of the brawl.

The talking head on the idiot box reported that one officer was injured. I'd say the cops got off easy, given the fact that the football players are in much better physical condition than the doughnut munchers have ever been in. The players were also wearing their armor, which matters.

“Not only did the actions of both teams violate fundamental elements of sportsmanship such as respect and civility, the nature of the incident also jeopardized the safety of participants and bystanders,” the Big Ten added.

Let me explain something: It takes two to tango. That, and an orchestra.

What that team up north could have done was congratulate OSU on playing a good game and tell them that they were tough to beat. For their part, OSU could have congratulated Michigan on their victory, and on playing a great game.

That's not what happened. Michigan celebrated on the field with derogatory screams and gestures commonly found in the Columbus Sullivant Avenue area between female entrepreneurs and potential customers when a mutually agreeable price for services rendered cannot be reached. OSU could have kept walking off the field, and didn't. Instead, they rose to the occasion, and the party started.

They started it! Yeah, they did. However-comma I blame the OSU team. These are all adults and by this time in their life, they should know better. I also blame the coaching staff of OSU who inspire this bad behavior. When the fertilizer hit the turbine blades, all the OSU coach did was stand around watching, when he should have waded in and separated his team from the other team.

It ain't our fault! We dinndoo nuffin'! Michigan shares a good part of the blame for their bad behavior, along with their own coaching staff who did nothing to curtail the orangutan's antics. When you win, let your opponent save face and walk away with a little pride left. That thought never crossed whatever they have for a mind. Instead, they reverted to the kind of behavior they learned on 8 Mile and Dequindre (Detroit). 

More than any other group, I blame commercial media. The whole thing was recorded and broadcast, and it should have been blacked out. The commercial media bozos gave players on both sides undeserved fame and popularity. No one should be proud of this kind of behavior, yet the media filmed it and now it's news, and the players are an inspiration to other football players as well as fans.

I'm betting the damage done here will spread and multiply. Go ahead and bet against me, but the next time you're out at, say, BW3 and watching the game, make sure you've got one in the chamber and your bail bondsman on speed dial.